Friday, October 24, 2008
at 1:30 PM Posted by BCHysteria
(Hi Dr. Nick!)
Dr. Nick: Do you have trouble standing up? Are you having trouble bending that thing in the middle of your leg? Would you like it fixed for 129.95? Then come see me Dr. Nick MD. (that stands for Medicine Doctorb) My office is located right outside the Libertyville Shopping Plaza right above the Payless Shoe Store and next to Western Credit Union. I will give you my customer my promise, if you die during the operation, you get your money back. Free!
Why should I use Dr. Nick for surgery you might ask? Please talk to my long time patient, Mr. Tom Brady of the New Englands Patriot!
TB: Hello, I am New England Quarterback Tom Brady. Last week I needed to have surgery completed on my knee after a devastating football injury left me unable to walk. Unfortunately I was out of money, after I spent last years paycheck on designer peacoats, Gucci undershirts, and Prada lingerie for Gisele. I had no idea where to turn to, so I looked in the cooking section of the LA POST and that is where I saw the advertisement for Dr. Nick. His affordable pricing, easy location, and money back guarantee was an easy sell. And for years Dr. Nick has been the Brady family physician, and his expertise makes it easier to trust then the doctors back in New England.
Dr. Nick: Hey Tommy can you tell the people about the actual operation?
TB: Sure Doc. At Dr. Nick's the operating room is small and quaint, and the most relaxing part was there was no nurses or anesthesiologists there! It's just the patient, the doctor, and the office cat Stripey (who sat on my lap for a majority of the surgery). To ease the pain of the surgery Doc gave me ether which was dripped on the mask, he even took a few drops for himself! He assured me that fixing an ACL was a very simple procedure, so easy in fact that he could do the entire operation with a steak knife, a pair of scissors and some rubber bands. Now that is family medicine at its best!
Dr. Nick: And how was the recovery from the surgery?
TB: It was easier then playing the Jets! After the doctor sewed me back together with some yarn and a sewing needle he immediately discharged me from his office. Still a little woozy from the ether and morphine, I drove home where I rested and conversed with the giant green Llamas that had inhabited my living room. And if follow up is something that your surgery requires Dr. Nick is number one! A week after my surgery I came back to Dr. Nick because a green fluid had begun to ooze out of my knee, and I was very worried. But the Doc reassured me that the puss was completely normal, something called "healing orbs" in medical terms. He also set my mind at ease when I told him that there was still sharp pains in my knee, telling me that roaring agony was actually a sign that my leg bone was healing.
Dr. Nick: Would you recommend me to your friends and teammates?
TB: Of course I would! In fact my good friend Rodney Harrison is on his way now to make his initial consult to fix his torn quad. I assured him that Dr. Nick was the best option, and dollar for dollar was much better deal then James Andrews and Bill Morgan. I can't wait to see the fantastic results, Dr. Nick will save Rod's career and Rod will be back on the field in no time! Let me just say if you or a loved one need surgery, and want to save a few bucks go with Dr. Nick Riveira the official family physician of the Bradys!