Friday, October 3, 2008

Scott Boras is Watching Your Every Move

So I understand an agent wanting to keep a close eye on his clients, but jeez Scott Boras, maybe take a few steps back? The above shot is from Game 1 of the ALDS, and Boras was in that box the entire game, only coming out to light cigars with hundred-dollar bills and feast on the blood of baby deer. Apparently, he owns the box (as well as one at Dodger Stadium), but come on, is there really a need to loom over clients like that? I think every time they show him for the rest of the series, "Every Breath You Take" by The Police should be playing.


Pepster said...

The Police version or the Diddy/Faith Evans version?

futuremrsrickankiel said...

This is totally apropos of nothing, but I'm actually getting pregnant just THINKING about Evan Longoria's hitting yesterday. HOME RUNS ON HIS FIRST TWO PLAYOFFS PITCHES EVER. Eep!

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

Where is the "Random Hall and Oates Reference" tag?

futuremrsrickankiel said...

YES to the Hall and Oates.

watchinyou watchinyou watchinyou

Pepster said...

I was wondering how many self-inflicted pleasure cycles FMRA went through with Evan Longoria becoming only the second person to ever hit 2 home runs in their first 2 post-season ABs. The first - Gary Gaetti. Well, I guess that stops the self-modulation. It could have been worse, at least it wasn't Kent Hrbek.

Zach Martin said...

Monday morning's "Breakfast with the Hysterics" headline:

FMRA found dead naked in living room

FMRA, the 24-year-old contributor to MS was found dead, naked in her living room at 10AM Monday morning, the apparent victim of death-by-orgasm syndrome.

After watching the Rays' Evan Longoria and the Sox's Jed Lowrie on Friday night, FMRA claimed she felt a bit "tired" and "weak-kneed". She seemed to be on the mend until around 10PM on Saturday when Rich Harden took the hill for the visiting Cubs.

When TBS had a tight close-up on the young pitcher, FMRA had a sudden and explosive orgasm that actually stopped her heart.

After receiving CPR at a nearby Hospital, FMRA was released after she proclaimed "there was no fawking way she was missing the Sox game on Sunday."

She never made it that far, as a sudden and even more violent orgasm claimed her for good early Sunday evening when Longoria hit a home run, then made a diving play to end the game.

Fellow, HS contributor HMLS had this to say about his friend, "We will miss her, but she went out doing what she loved best; jerking off to playoff baseball."