Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Our Long National Waiting-For-The-Roster Nightmare Is Over

At literally the last minute, the Red Sox finally announced their 2008 ALDS playoff roster this morning (Los Angeles time). There weren't really any surprises. The biggest news is that both J.D. Drew and Mike Lowell are (a) on the roster, and (b) pencilled into tonight's lineup. GO HIP GO!!!!! Also, as I sort of predicted, the Sox will carry three catchers, with David Ross making the cut.

Herewith, your playoff roster:

Starters
Josh Beckett
Jon Lester
Mothra

Pitchers Whut Not Be Starters
Timmy "Who Doesn't Suck" Wakefield
"Porno" Paul Byrd
Paps Blue Ribbon
Justin Masterson
Hero In The Dark
Manny Delcarmen
Javy "Not The Catcher" Lopez

Starting Position Guys
Yoook
Pedro
Papi
Mike Lowell
Jacoby Ellsbury
J.D. Poo
Jason Washeduptek
Jed Lowrie
The Canadian

Benchwarmers
CAAAA$$$$$HHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Mark "He's On The Team? Really? Since when?" Kotsay
Coco Crisp
Mayor Casey
Alex "Don't Call Me Joey" Cora
David "Schwimmer As" Ross

Um.... wait.....

There's a name I don't see there on that list.....

Ohhhhhhhh....FUCK.


You fucked with the wrong brohan, Francona...


RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!! HE'S ARMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND PROBABLY PISSED OFF!!!!!!!!!!

1 comment:

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

You mean Dave "The Boss" Ross.
or Dave "305-Mi-Yayo" Ross.

Yes I listen to rap.