Friday, October 17, 2008
at 1:02 PM Posted by GHABB,Y~!
So I've been having trouble sleeping lately, to the point that my doctor recently prescribed me a low dose of Ambien, which has successfully shuffled me off to slumber every time I've taken it since. It was a wonderful relationship, me and the Ambien, and it had been quite effective in the weeks I've been taking it. Seeing the Red Sox down 7-0 and realizing I had a busy Friday ahead, I took my sleeping pill last night at 10pm, and waited for the effects to kick in while I watched the waning moments of the Red Sox' season. I figured I'd last another fifteen minutes or so before the pill's effects took over me, and a restful night's sleep would ensue.
Then the Sox started to come back. And come back. And come back.
Obviously, I couldn't miss a potentially epic Sox comeback, but the pill's effects were also weaving their way through my bloodstream with great quickness. I am proud to say, after repeated eye-flickings and a few slaps to the face that, in the face of Ambien's grip, I stayed up through the whole game and watched the Sox complete possibly the greatest comeback of my life. I did, however, fire off the following text messages to HZMLS:
11:44 PM: i took a fucking ambien at 10 and now my eye hurts from flicking it to stay awake. ow.
11:45 PM: if they pull this out theyre winning the series. also i see pink christina aguilera monsters on second base
11:50 PM: coco just hit that ball into a pile of broccoli and it was fielded by dracula and thrown over a pair of mountains that were actally jenna jamesons boobs. im really sleepy.
11:55 PM: why do they keep throwing and hitting that marshmallow instead of toasting it for smores?
11: 59 PM: what if terry francona blew a bubble big enough for him to live inside? would it float or roll around like the orbs on american gladiators? also bj upton looks guilty of something.
12:02 AM: i wonder what happened to dauber from coach. he was like what would happen if boomer esiasons retarded kid grew up
12:08 AM: if thi sgoes extra innings theres a strong chance that ill mistake one of my gfs yankee candles for orange juice and try to drink it
12: 16 AM: holy fucking shit we won unlike vietnam or the war of 1812.
Now, I'm a very superstitious sort. During the 2004 series, I had to sit in the exact same chair, wearing the exact same shirt, with my left shoe untied. In 2007, I didn't change my Sox undershirt for two weeks. During the Celtics series, I had to drink a bottle of Andre champagne during every playoff game. While it could be said that the Sox started playing better once I took my Ambien...can I possibly interpret that as a sign of good luck? Do I have to watch every ALCS and possibly World Series game now while hallucinating on a sleeping pill? I'm not even kidding, I'm seriously torn on the matter. Any advice, O loyal readers?