It's Halloween weekend, and you know what that means... keeping your outside light turned off so all the neighborhood kids don't knock on your door. This also prevents "ding dong ditching" (or as we lovingly call it here in the South, "n----r knockin'").
On to the racism-free picks!
PREDICTING SPOUSES PICK OF THE WEEK: RUBBERFISTINGMITTEN (3-4-1) over FUTUREMRWILLAFORD (3-4-1)... I have apologized to FMRA for suggesting that she pick up Ike Hilliard a few weeks back. J.T. O'Sullivan? That was her own fault.
By the way, the Tampa Bay defense that FMRA picked up in the 14th round? It's scored three more points than the San Diego defense that she picked up in the third round. Just sayin'.
PEYTONS INFECTED SAC (5-3) over NORFOLK & WAY (2-6): Is Norfolk & Way the worst team in the league? BenJarvus Green-Ellis thinks so. So does Visanthe Shiancoe.
EAT SEVENTEEN BEERS (6-2) over FIGHTIN AMALIES (4-4): In my first draft of the year, I took Darren McFadden in the third round. This week I dropped him for Donnie Avery. So, um, yeah. There's that.
FAT DRUNK AND STUPID (7-1) over HANGIN WITH MR DUNGY (2-5-1): In another one of my leagues, I have Matt Forte, Earnest Graham, and Anquan Boldin, just like Fat Drunk and Stupid does. Only Pepster's team is 7-1, and my team is 3-5. The secret ingredient must be the gayness.
OSI HUMANURINE (3-4-1) over MY LITTLE PONIES (3-5): The rumors of Le'Ron McClain's death have been gravely ACCURATE. Next week might be the right time for Smurphette to sell Michael Turner high.
THE WILD CARD (6-2) over COCKFLASHLISAOLSON (4-3-1): Everybody sing!
Donnie Avery had many sons /
And many sons had DON-nie Avery /
And I am one of them, and so are you /
So let's just praise the Lord (RIGHT ARM!)
(And yes, I used to do this with Donnie Abraham's name... how do you think this shit got started?)
(And for you heathens, it's the Christian hokey pokey!)
PLASCHKE EATS PENIS (3-4-1) over LESSTHANJAKEDELHOMME (2-6): On behalf of everyone who didn't pick up Josh Morgan off waivers and start him last week, I'd just like to say to HMLS BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA but seriously I'm losing this week.