Thursday, October 23, 2008

Breakfast with the Hysterics

First game of the World Series was on last night, and no I didn't watch any of it. It sounds like it was going to be a good game as NLL (National League Lester) faced off against Scotty Kaz. I am not boycotting the World Series, or feel any ill will against the Rays, it is just I am burnt out on playoff baseball and can come up with like 9235432987 other things I could do with 5 hours that don't involve Tim McCarver and Joe Buck. There was no Boston sports on TV, which forced me to find something else to do. So I Netflix'd (actually Blockbuster'd) the first season of Heroes. I figured, everyone watches it and Kristen Bell and Hayden Pantalones or whatever the hell her name is are hot enough to warrant my time. And I love super hero movies, I thought Iron Man was amazing, and would kill for another good Spiderman. I thought the show was interesting, but way too serious and the writing sucked. Though the introduction of a character who is a stripper was a pleasant surprise to me, and watching Hayden in a cheerleading costume was like incredible. The first episode was very "eh", I was neither turned off or overly impressed by the show. I really just need to get back to watching sports every night. Please Celtics start your season and save me from watching network TV shows.

Well boils and ghouls we have less then a week until Halloween. It's time to start finishing up your Halloween costumes and getting ready for a weekend of unadulterated debauchery. For guys we have it tricky, usually our costumes are some sort of imitation of a real/fictional person, or a horror monster of some sort. Thing is if you are trying to imitate someone, having the wrong colored hair or a shirt that doesn't quite work ruins the whole deal. Girls you have it easy, just find a normal day to day occupation and put "slutty" in front of it. Slutty Police Officer, Slutty Teacher, or the always popular slutty angel/devil. There is an endless supply of costumes that you could make "slutty". I fucking love Halloween, and everything associated with it; candy, half naked girls, haunted houses and beer. The only problem I have had in the past is coming up with a costume. Seriously, I have major creativity issues when it comes to dressing up. So my question to the masses is: What are ya'll being for Halloween?


SmartyBarrett said...

If you thought I wasn't geeky enough, I am being Quail Man for Halloween. If you don't know who that is, you are clearly not a 20-something who was raised on Nickelodeon like I was.

Also, Kristin Bell = SLAMMIN' HOT.

stanley cup of chowder said...

I am being super cheap this year and crafting by custome out of this I have around the house. As usual, I am going as a some what outdated movie character (even though this movie is an ageless classic). I am taking my ill-fitting old school B's jersey, work boots, sweaty p's, and an old wood headed driver and going as Happy Gilmore.

This is kind of lame compared to the year I went as Blue from Old School. I chose the KY wrestling scene Blue and dressed in thermal underwear, some sort of wrestling helmet that my brother left in my basement, and of course Blue's signature beard. I felt slightly akward woking around the party in my long johns (especially with all the slutty day laborers walking around) but Blue was a huge hit.

carbs said...

The slutty gimmick can work for guys though. For example, I'm going to be slutty Rich Garces this year.

Rocco said...

I hate wearing a costume for Halloween. Though the one year the ex and I were Batman and Batgirl, which was pretty hot. Yes, I have pictures.

HMLS, you're the worst kind of fucking fan ever. You can root for Boston but once they're out you won't watch the World Series? That's fucking gay.

Sorry, that just pissed me off.

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

I'm going to be slutty Johnny Pesky. "Hit my pole.... you damn kids!"

Hate to break it to you, H, but Kristin Bell isn't in Season 1 of Heroes. She's in the tail end of Season 2.

stanley cup of chowder said...

Rocco, not watching the WS doesn't make him the worst kind of fan. It makes him a Boston sports fan. We love our teams but could give two shits about the rest of the teams. Unlike other cities, we have a team in all 4 major sports so there is always a rooting interest. Baseball is almost unwatchable without a rooting interest. I'm not going to spend 4 hrs watching 2 teams I don't care about. The only way Boston fans can get amped for a random game is by gambling. That doesn't make us bad sports fans, it just makes us fiercely loyal. Maybe if you grew up here you would understand that.

SmartyBarrett said...


You can root for Boston but once they're out you won't watch the World Series?

That is NOT what he said. He did not say he wasn't going to watch it, just that he didn't watch last night's game in particular.

Sorry for all the double and triple negatives in that sentence.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Please Celtics start your season and save me from watching network TV shows.


And I'm also of a mind that the WS is not a must-watch for me -- if I have time, I'll catch the games, but I don't plan my life meticulously around them the way I do with Red Sox games.

I've always avoided the "slutty X" route for my costumes. It's lame. The key is to be able to look cute without running around in leather lingerie. This year, I think I'm going as Daria...

Dubs said...

I have yet to figure out my costume for this year, but prob my best was when like 12 of us dressed up as the Duke Lax team.

"Duke lacrosse, pull out."

We were quite the hit at the one minority bar we went to.

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...


I watch on average 15 hours of Red Sox a week, 10 hours of NFL, 5+Hours of College football, and the Celtics/BC Basketball when they are on. At some point I have to say enough is enough and interact with other human beings (i.e my fiance). If the WS is on, I might throw on it on for a while, but sitting through five hours for seven more days? I dont think I could do that.

Sh!tShow said...

I'm dressing up as Mass Hysteria, a hybrid of all of our fine editors.

Future Mrs - Patriots facepaint, with whiskey bottle.

GHABBY - Insulin case, ambien, Cobra kai karate.

HMLS - wig, microphone, BC eagles hat, fruity beer.

SmartyBarrett- gotta go off your name, so Thick glasses, calculator, pocket protector, and and a Marty Barrett jersey.

ANd for Pimp, i'm speaking in old tymey.

What ho!

Shaun said...


Rocco said...

Fine. I'm just disappointed that you fine editors of Mass Hysteria are only Boston fans and not sports fans. My friends pull the same shit and it bugs me. IT'S THE FUCKING WORLD SERIES! If you can't "waste" a few more hours for a few more days, after spending 15 hours a week for 6 months watching the Red Sox, you're just rooting for the Sox because they're a Boston team and not because you like the sport. I'll never understand that mentality.

/dick joke.

The A-Train said...

I've always avoided the "slutty X" route for my costumes. It's lame.

You know what? I think YOU'RE lame. Oh, burn!

Seriously though, that's the best part about Halloween. Once I got too old to go trick-or-treating I was like "this holiday bloooows." And then once I got to college, I realized it was, in fact, the best holiday in the world.

I was going to be a generic 80's baseball complete with some of the most amazingly awful facial hair known to man. Then my fucktard of a friend had to go and decide to get married on the day after halloween and make me a groomsman. I love the kid, but seriously: get hit by a bus. He's sooo getting a breadmaker for a wedding gift.