Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Breakfast with the Hysterics

Don't mock my photoshop job

WILL THE PLAYOFFS GET HERE ALL READY I CANT WAIT ANYMORE!!!! Like all of you(well unless you are A-Train) I am dying for playoff baseball. The fucking World Wide Leader is showing 2008 World Series of Poker and Florida Atlantic and Middle Tennessee instead of the Twins game. Well after looking I see the game is on TBS and the White Sox have won, should have probably looked at that before I went apeshit. Yeah we get to see Ozzie Guillen's ugly face for 3 more games. Future Mrs Rick Ankiel no more Joe Mauer for you.

Hate waiting as much as I do? Well, if you live in Boston you might have to wait a lot longer to take the T. Operators of the Boston subway and busses are mighty pissed at the MBTA and if they don't get money owed them they could make our lives a living hell, or worse then they usually make it:
by calling in sick en masse, refusing overtime shifts, obeying speed limits that require significant slowdowns in advance of subway platforms, and holding buses at every stop until all passengers are seated.
So basically the MBTA is going to be doing the same shit they have been doing for years.

Question for the Masses
: During a night of heavy drinking have you ever been stuck on a subway car?


stanley cup of chowder said...

A few years ago after a Sox game, I got stuck underground on the Red Line for like an hour due to mechanical problems. Then to make things worse some drunk dude in my car decided piss in the middle of the car and then break a window. I have to admit the window breaking was actuaclly a blessing after the scent of his urine had filled the car. Ah, the good old MBTA.

Pepster said...

I never got stuck on the T, but I once had to run with a group of friends from some bar outside of the Alewife station while just stupid drunk. Apparently someone in our group found a bar newar Alewife that didn't card (we weren't 21), so we went to check it out, got hammered, and had to run to catch the last T inbound. Of course, we didn't have enough money for drinking AND a cab. I will never forget running over that stupid ass bridge.

ClementeAviationClub said...

I once shotgunned a beer at the JFK/Umass T station at 5 in the morning. It was before heading to Fenway to wait 12 hours on the street and try to get tickets for Game 7 of the ALCS last year. Worst day of my life, minus the Sox winnining.

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

I got stuck on the T after drinking like 5 beers before going out to Faneuil Hall. The T got stuck after a car got hit like three stations from us. Lets just say that I have never felt pain in my kidneys like I did that night.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

In one of my few nods to the bourgeois existence, I REFUSE to take the T when I'm going out. Cabs all night, baby. Just find a man to pay for them.

Rocco said...

What is this "T" and "public transportation" you speak of?

Typical woman. Support yourself if you want equal rights.

Grimey said...

So I guess everybody turned to TBS to watch The Office just to find White Sox players spraying each other, followed by Dennis Eckersley and Cal Ripken failing at Kenny Smith-Charles Barkley chemistry, followed by a shitty Seinfeld rerun?

(Is Seinfeld the new Andy Griffith Show?)

Zach Martin said...

In Chicago we have the Elevated train or the "EL". Well in high school I had quite the problem with puking-my-fucking-brains out whenever I stepped foot on it after a game at Wrigley. This happened on many occasions, but the worst is when I inexplicably got off the train, puked (on my leg and foot. Can still feel the chunks between my toes) and watched as my friends pulled away on the train.

I ended up getting on the next one, passing out and waking up to a group of inner-city youths (you do the math) trying to rob me. Strangely, a kid from my rival high school stepped in and saved the day, making sure I got home, puked stained and all. That was the worst.

Or the time when I puked on the train and tried to make out with a stranger. Good times.

Yablo said...

I once woke up on a bench at the Roxbury Crossing T stop. Don't ask. I think I might have been drugged. But then I couldn't leave (doors locked), and it was cold, and since it was like 3 am, I started walking up the tracks of the Orange line, checking every stop to see if I could leave the subway. Finally made it out at China Town. Good times.

In Chicago, they used to run the Purple (evanston) line all night, but then it stopped at around 2. So you could take the Red line from downtown to Howard street, which is a MAJOR ghetto. Which would then involve sprinting and trying to find a cab at 3 in the morning.

dubbschism said...

so one time i made a mad dash (along with EGD2) to make the last Red Line train of the night....

let me back up a little. this was no ordinary night. our friend Conti had won like his third Foggy Goggle party of the year and we had attended said party that evening. to the uninitiated, a Foggy Goggle party is just what it sounds hour of free drinks for you and 30 of your friends at everyone's favorite upscale dining facility, the Foggy Goggle (formerly located at 911 Boylston St. - Foggy Goggle Boston is now McGreevey's!).

now i don't care who you are, an hour's worth of free drinks gets you absolutely sloshed. and that's because it's not like alcohol you have to purchase yourself, which is normally consumed around the rate of 1 or 2 drinks per hour. when booze is free, getting new drinks is like popping pez out of a dispenser. so when someone shows up at the top of the hour bragging about the five Sam's lights they've already imbibed, you know that they're going to have a night of literary proportions. which brings us back to the subject of this story, EGD2.

so after mixing his five Sam's lights with about eight gin and tonics, EGD2 and i went over to Whiskey's for a nightcap (or three). come midnight or so we decided we'd rather take the T then find some dude to buy a cab for us, so we rushed to the Hynes stop and took the Green Line to Park St., where we were lucky enough to catch the very last Red Line train of the night. since it was the last train though, it stayed at the station extra long so as to meet scheduling times, let all the passengers on, etc.

anyway, to weather the wait, i decided to take a little nap. after what felt like 20 minutes, i woke up and saw EGD2 across the train from me, and he was ANGRY. he was punching the seat repeatedly and had a scowl on his face that could have pickled an egg. i thought he was mad about the wait. if not for my nap, i'd probably be mad too.

"hey, calm down, we'll leave soon", i told him.

"NO! we've been here too long. and now i've gotten sick on the train!"

so i looked stage left and noticed a large pool of vomit covering the seat. it was beginning to cascade over the edge and splash onto the floor. and i laughed. and i looked around the train and noticed that other people were laughing too. and then the train finally left.

and that, my friends, is why the Foggy Goggle is now McGreevey's.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Damn, Yablo. I work down the street from Roxbury Crossing, and I would NOT want to wake up alone at 3 in the morning there. You a rockstar. Or just insane.

The A-Train said...

I've napped on subway cars, but never to the point where I slipped into a deep peaceful slumber and missed my stops. Howevah, one of my friends is not so lucky:

After a hard night of drinking in Manhattan, he hopped on the subway and went back to his apartment in Brooklyn. Fell asleep, woke up in Coney Island. He doesn't live in Coney Island. Crap!

So, got on the other train, headed back into Brooklyn. Fell asleep. Again. Woke up in Manhattan. Well, Harlem. Double crap. Now much more away, headed back into Brooklyn and got off at the correct stop.

SmartyBarrett said...


I will still never tire of this story. You also forgot the part about where he kept muttering "fuck you" over and over.