Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Boston College Sports Wrap Up: Zzzzzzzzzzz



This is going to be a new series brought to you by yours truly, HMLS. As a BC Alumn and season ticket holder I will only bring the stories you find interesting. No long boring game recaps on shit you wouldn't care about, or stories embellishing a player who will probably be working for W.B Mason next year. I understand you probably all hate the thousands of students who go to church every week and have last names like McCarthy and O'Rourke. But as a season ticket holder, and a religious viewer of BC athletics I feel the obligation to report on it. I will try my damn-dest to make this interesting for you all. So please enjoy

* As you may or probably did not see, BC beat #17 ranked VT last Saturday night at Alumni Stadium. I'm going to make the safe assumption that everyone other then myself and my fiance was either at home watching the Red Sox game, or was at a bar getting loaded watching the Sox. Having tickets to the game, and facing Virginny Tech made this a cant miss game for me. This was a deadly combination of a great game and a shitty fuckfest all rolled into one. Richie Gunnell broke off a 70 yard punt return, and BC was all over the Tech defense up until half time. But that all disappeared when Ginger Wunderkind Chris Crane pushed the plunger on his self destruct button. The bad was the BC QB blows ass, five turnovers in this game. FIVE! Crane did everything within his power to allow VT back into this game. He is an enigma, covered in a puzzle wrapped in a mystery. On some drives he is calm and composed driving the Eagles to points, others he looks like he should be starting QB for the Detroit Lions....Yes he is that bad. BC is now #23 in the country, and faces an inconsistent UNC team at Chapel Hill this weekend. Welcome to the ACC- Anyone Can Collapse.

* To follow up on a previous post, I unfortunately did not get to meet Matty Ryan at the game, or actually see him live. He spent the entire game in a luxury box and never came down for any sort of recognition. Though when they showed him on the video screen I went beserk, he had a BC hat on and everything. I will get a picture with him, mark my word. I am pathetic I get it.

* On a complete side note, I decided during tail gating to skip drinking beer, and instead slurp Jack and Cokes. As advice for anyone who is going to tailgate, this provides the best BAC for a football game. I started the game tipsy and drunk, but wasn't too drunk that I couldn't focus on the game, and I didn't have to drink more then two cups so I wasn't pissing for most of the first half. So, HMLS recommends skipping beer and going straight for the hard stuff. Anywho by the end of the game I was done with the Virginia Tech frat shitheads that were sitting in my section. After every positive play the two brainless turds would either stand up and clap condescendingly at the BC crowd or point to another VT fan. Fuck them, I was drunk and felt reckless. Here are some of my talking points I decided to scream at them after the game (I realize I started almost every phrase with HEY!):
* HEY FUCKHEADS GREAT JOB, ENJOY GOING TO THE CAPITAL ONE BOWL ASSHOLES
* YEAH HOPE YOU ENJOYED BEING RANKED! BYE BYE!! NO CHANCE FOR THE ORANGE BOWL NOW
* TYROD TAYLOR IS A FUCKING JOKE, BRING A REAL QB NEXT TIME YOU COME BACK
* HEY, YOUR TWO MOST FAMOUS QB'S ARE FUCKING FELONS, I HOPE OOKIE IS ENJOYING HIS TIME IN PRISON SHITHEADS!
* HOW DOES IT FEEL THAT OUR EX QB TOOK YOUR EX QB's JOB BECAUSE HE IS BENDING OVER FOR A GUY NAMED BIFF IN THE CLINK?!!!


* Brian Toal is done. The oft injured 35 year old 10th year senior is done with a knee injury. With the loss of Toal goes the final connection to the Doug Flutie ERA. Toal can look back fondly at his days at BC, playing with greats like Bill Romanowski, Paul Peterson and Brian St. Pierre.

* And on that note, I would like to announce that I will be in attendance for the unveiling of the Doug Flutie station at Alumni Stadium on November 7. I received my Save the Date in my email today, its like a wedding but with Doug Flutie and BC. I dunno. I hope the statue is re-enactment of the Hail Mary pass, well minus the ape like hair under his rocking 80's jersey. Hell I failed to meet Matt Ryan, but I will be there and will report all of the fascinating events of the afternoon at the Heights.


See that wasn't too painful now was it? I know what you are all going to say, first a Bruins post now a BC post? Well all I can say is that here at MH we like to change things up, keep things fresh and exciting. I probably failed on both ends there. I will hopefully wake you all up later with a final post on the Patriots-Broncos game.

5 comments:

Grimey said...

I will get a picture with him, mark my word.

Remember, HzMLS, you SHOULD want to get a picture with Matt Ryan... you SHOULDN'T want to keep him an a big jar in your basement

Anonymous said...

WTF is a "BC"?

shaun said...

This is my third year of following Eagles football, I used to like the Hurricanes, as I formerly lived in Florida. I look forward to more from you.

jennycupcakes said...

I read this HzMLS!!! And I loved the Va Tech got beat!!!!

GHABB,Y~! said...

I would've retorted with "at least MY school can keep our sociopathic Asian loners away from guns, ammo and video cameras!"

...but that's just me.