Thursday, September 18, 2008

The World Outside of Mass Hysteria: Our Hockey Editor Spreads Her Wings

* futuremrsrickankiel has started a new blog with MH Chum Basketbawful to create... wait for it... FOOTBAWFUL! Great NFL coverage over there, with far less Patriots homerism and ball washing. Check out her reverse "powerless" rankings for the NFC where she answers the question: who blows the hardest? I'll give you a hint, they have a whiny entitled RB whose agent left him, they can't play a lick of defense, and they are home to Nelly and his bandaid. [Footbawful]

* Desperate times call for desperate measures. And no NFL team is more in the toilet right now then the Chiefs, who are still starting Damon Huard at QB. Fans are getting pretty restless and have started a GET BRADY QUINN NOW website. They have started a petition (signed by 77 people, which is also the number of people in Kansas that own a computer) and are selling shirts as well. Show what team you play for with a Brady Quinn shirt! You will look FAB-U-LOUS. [GET BRADY NOW]

* In one of the weirdest traditions in sports, the Red Sox Rookies were hazed and initiated into the pros by being forced to wear women's clothes. A-Rod is intrigued by Chris Carter and would like to take her on a date. Somehow Justin Masterson got out of it easy, looking more like Ben Hogan then Pamela Anderson. Instead of wearing women's clothes, couldn't they just have Mike Timlin give them an old-fashioned initiation by paddling them until their asses bleed? [Center Field]

* A new book is out that chronicles the life and crimes of the 90's Dallas Cowboys. Sounds like Mikey Irvin is crazier than we thought, and not like "Oh he hears voices" crazy, like "just a little short of OJ" crazy. Also,Charles Haley should hang out with Zeke Mowatt more often. [SportsbyBrooks]

* Many of us at MH have rejoiced that the toilet in the Bronx, I mean Yankee Stadium, is getting torn down. It's been a year of Yankee-Schaudenfreude; they are not going to make the playoffs, their youth suck (well, all minus Joba), and their new ballpark comes with a whole new slew of obstructed view seats! Where the fuck did they find their architects, in Jersey? Well, its not all bad. Those sitting in the Right Field won't have to watch Matsui's D. [River Ave. Blues]

* It is no secret that Peter King is in love with Tom Brady. Like, Brokeback Mountain crush here. He just can't quit him. King placed Brady at the right hand of the Father (Brett Favre) and has worshipped everything about him. But recently, like the Biblical Peter, King forsook Brady, denying that he should considered one of the best players of all time. For shame, Peter. [Awful Announcing]

Picture courtesy of Kelly O'Connor


GHABB,Y~! said...

That Cowboys book is the best thing I've ever read. Charles Haley and Michael Irvin are gods.

The A-Train said...

Matsui's fine defensively. Can't throw for shit, but he tracks down balls well and has above-average speed. Plus, he's able to make up for his weak arm with a quick release that gives him a chance to make a play.

Howevah, thanks to his balky knee the chances of him playing the field aren't very high. I'd be more relieved if I didn't have to see Bobby Abreu try and play balls near the wall. My lord, it's like vertical surfaces sap him of his will to live or something.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I'd be more relieved if I didn't have to see Bobby Abreu try and play balls near the wall.

That may be... but he only has to wear ONE goggle when he goes swimming in HIS pool!

Also, A-Train, how exactly did a Yanks fan like yourself find your way to this "blag"?

The A-Train said...

What can I say? Despite being Boston fans (and therefore racist, doucebag fans who should only speak into the barrel of a shotgun while pushing on the trigger with their big toe) ya'll are pretty damn funny. And I happen to like funny stuff.