Friday, September 19, 2008

A Very Special Breakfast with the Hysterics

* Today we celebrate the birthday of our hockey editor-and resident sports woman FutureMrsRickAnkiel. I won't give away her age, but lets just say that she is younger then Betty White and older then Miley Cyrus. FutureMrs is vital to this website, she writes about a team that most of Boston ignores, tantalizes and cock teases our commenters and best of all fixes my atrocious grammar! So let's all give FutureMrs our warmest congratulations and hope that her birthday wishes of getting double teamed by Jacoby and Jed Lowrie comes true. Hopefully she isn't too hung over this morning, and will get to read your birthday wishes...

* As an early birthday wish Evan Longoria hit three home runs last night for the Rays. Our birthday girl must have squealed with excitement as she watched one of her favorite baseball hotties round the bases. It was double the pleasure though, because the Twins did what the Red Sox could not, beat the Rays bullpen. The Rays had a two run lead going into the 9th but Dan Wheeler returned to the Dan Wheeler we all know (resembling more Mike Timlin) and allowed 5 runs. The Sox will look to continue to make up ground when they face the Jays tonight. Its Paul Byrd (gulp) vs AJ Burnett (passes out).

* The Patriots backfield is going to look pretty different this weekend. Lawrence Maroney aka Kool Aid aka "Wash U Ass" aka "I make a lot of lateral jukes and get tackled at the line of scrimmage" missed his second straight day of practice. Also Lamont Jordan who had a very solid game in Week 2 missed practice. Looks like we are going to get a healthy dose of Sammy Morris and Kevin Faulk, which will be fine. Maybe even a sprinkle of Kyle Eckel? Look for my Patriots game preview later today.

* Michael Beast-ley was fined 50,000 by the commish's office for an incident involving Mario Chalmers, Darrell Arthur, weed and girls. Hold on let me get my soap box set up here. This is just another example of the shady image that the NBA has dived into over the past ten years. They clearly broke league rules and what do they get? They miss mandatory rookie camp which probably sucks anyways, and a slap on the wrist monetary fine. I bet the three of them are devastated that they are going to miss the talks on adjusting to life in the NBA. Want a good punishment Stern? Make the three of them run a series of talks to High School students about the dangers of drugs. I would love to get ahold of a tape of Arthur trying to talk in front of people. It would sound more like a combination of Shaquille O'Neal and Corkey from life goes on. Embrass the crap out of these guys, don't let them get away with it. /Gets off soap box.

*I was perusing the internet yesterday and saw this, it has nothing to do with sports but it was possibly the funniest/insane movie fight I've seen in years. Credit to Major League Jerk for the find:

*Out weekly Fantasy Preview will be up this afternoon as well. SmartyBarrett from The Ejected Fan has the call.


Zach Martin said...

Happy bday MRS! I can only assume you celebrated it like any self-respecting Boston girl would – snorting lines off Ted Williams’ frozen, headless body and then, when done, crossing the street when a group of black teenagers walked your way. Cherish those memories.

Zach Martin said...

Oh, and a thousand times yes to the fight scene.

Pepster said...

Happy Birthday - here's to a great weekend, and not remembering anything that you don't want to come Monday.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Hopefully she isn't too hung over this morning

too late

too fucking late

Comicbook Guy said...

Love Ya Baby. Ready for the Sunday drunkfest against the Fish??? Older than that hag, Miley? No way!

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

So that first picture.... is it a portrait in cake of:

(a) A black dude who fucked yogurt, or
(b) A white dude who really needs to get his jock itch fungus under control?

futuremrsrickankiel said...

/bans you