Friday, September 19, 2008

On Tap This Weekend:My Balls in yo' face

We at MH are never afraid to throw you a curveball and change up the format. Usually our weekend preview is in a nice Reader's Digest format, but this week our resident turn of the century racist took over baseball. So here is the preview of Boston area football games this weekend:

Boston College vs University of Central Florida


Before last season I would have asked "Who the fuck is UCF?" or exclaimed " BC is going to clobber these clowns!!1!", but Kevin Smith changed all that. Now its hard to ignore that this team is no joke, hell they almost beat USF a few weeks ago. Couple that with a BC team that looks very beatable, and this game is going to be a huge crap shoot. Though everything isnt looking down for BC their defense should pulverize the three freshman Lineman of UCF.

The biggest question this week is Chris Crane, and do I have some exclusive information for you. I was buying my family some tickets for the game, and I walked by the practice to watch the team. What shocked me was that redshirted freshman Dominique Davis was taking a majority of the snaps with the first team. This isn't much of a secret, because Coach Jags came out and said Davis would get some snaps. I am going to make a proclamation: Chris Crane is going to immediately blow, and Davis will finish the game. Take that one to the bank.

BC hasn't lost a non conference game at home since 2003, I don't expect this week will be any different. UCF isn't the same team they were last year, but neither is BC. This game is going to be close, and the giant X factor is going to be the entire BC offense. Can they move the ball at all? BC needs this win, like I need a good blowjob, if they want to prepare for a VERY tough conference schedule. Then again the entire ACC has looked like balls, so maybe BC could pull some wins that last week I thought was impossible.

The Sh!tshow Memorial Gamb-lore "Going for Piss Broke" Prediction: UCF will beat the spread (-10), BC will win the game. 13-6.


New England Patriots vs the Miami University Dolphins



Game 2.75 of the Matt Cassel ERA should be as easy if not easier then the previous two games. What a way to pop your cherry in the NFL then playing the Chiefs, Jets and Fins. Has any new starting QB had this easy of a start? The Dolphins are horrible, and Bill & Co. will eat them for breakfast lunch and dinner.

On the offensive end of the ball the Fins will be relying on Chad Pennington to lead them against the stingy Patriots offense. Who the hell is he throwing to? Ted Ginn Jr? I'm glad the Fins wasted a high draft pick on a glorified/less talented Devin Hester. He is much more valuable then a QB, offensive lineman, Defensive lineman, cornerback, or a wide receiver that can catch the ball. Their biggest offensive weapon is Ricky Williams who should light up the Patriots defense, and bake the secondary. If he can smoke up the signals and get high on some low tackles the game he could get some really high rushing stats. Marijuana.


I love when the Patriots play against the Dolphins, especially that loud mouthed idiot Joey Porter. Its mostly being a retard and machismo, but does Porter really think the Fins can beat the Pats? When Sammy Morris runs him over, that will be the post MH readers will wake up to Monday morning. Can I make another stupid prediction? I made the same one last week, Randy Moss is going to have a huge week. Matt Cassel should start to get more comfortable with the offense and try more long shots. I was stupid wrong last week, will this continue this week?

Anyways the Patriots Redemption Tour will be 3-0 after this week. Are the Chargers or Colts undefeated? Hellz 2 Da Naw.

The Sh!tshow Memorial Gamb-lore "Going for Piss Broke" Prediction: The Patriots with the points.

Have a great weekend everyone, and please if you go out drinking please come back and post something vile and offensive in the Commenting Section. Stories are always welcome, correct spelling and grammar is not required or expected.

3 comments:

Sh!tShow said...

I have a memorial!

Rocco said...

Game 2.75 of the Matt Cassel ERA should be as easy if not easier then the previous two games. What a way to pop your cherry in the NFL then playing the Chiefs, Jets and Fins. Has any new starting QB had this easy of a start? The Dolphins are horrible, and Bill & Co. will eat them for breakfast lunch and dinner.

I think TWWL needs some expert advice for next week. You available?

Comicbook Guy said...

Good Call, Did yo also advise Bush on the economy? Or are you now heading up FEMA?