Monday, September 15, 2008

The Monday Morning Patriots Review: Week 2

This morning GHABY! eloquently recapped the Patriots Jets game. As football editor and biggest Patriots blowhard on this site, its now my turn to analyze the ups and downs of the game

The EPIC FAIL Award: This weekly award is going to go to the player that falls apart before our very eyes. This week the obvious winner of our award is Brett Favre. This trainwreck was epic, and beautiful to watch at the same time. All week, the media was talking about was how great he still was, and that he was going to lead the Jets back to the top of the AFC EAST. A few stupid passes, some ad libbed plays later and getting out played by Matt Cassel and this talk has all but ceased. He had his moments during the game, but Favre learned quickly that playing the Dolphins is a hell of a lot easier than playing the Pats. Also receiving votes: Jay Feely, Eric Mangini

The Deadbeat Dad Award:

For the player who vanished during the game, our winner this week is Randy Moss. Moss was again the ultimate kick to the dick for all his fantasy owners. The stat sheets say that Moss had 2 catches for 18 yards, but honestly I think they are lying. I don't remember seeing Moss on the field other than the dropped bomb by Cassel later in the game. He was practically invisble during the game It seems like this season will be the ultimate test of Moss's character. Unless Cassel really starts to get into a groove with this system Moss will get nowhere near the catches/looks he got last year. Has he really drank the Belichick punch or is he going to start moaning and bitching soon. Also receiving votes: Lawrence Maroney,

The McGyver Award (for the person that was most valued on the field, and did EVERYTHING).

Matt Cassel. It's hard to argue with this one, though points could be made for Ellis Hobbs, any of the linebackers and Wes Welker. But Cassel did what was needed of him, which was play smart mistake free and as GHABY put it "boring football". He allowed Favre to be the player to take the giant shit on the field, and instead managed the game like a smart QB should. Most importantly he showed to the world that he is capable of running this offense, and leading this team.

The moment of peak orgasm The Adalius Thomas one armed sack of Brett Favre. This moment capitulated everything that I was hoping would happen to that overexposed over the hill has been. He ran around and tried to "ad lib" the play, which to me means the offense isn't good enough to run a fucking scripted play or he is too dumb to learn it, and then got man handled along with his Full back (I believe it was the FB) Half Pint Half Back into a sack bukkake. Favre squirmed, fought back but in the end he was on the bottom of a pile of men completely destroyed. For a game with few highlights, and honestly at times kind of boring this was the epoch of the game. Also receiving votes: Sammy Morris's air born TD run, Brandon Meriweather's Interception, Kevin Faulks juggling one handed catch on 3rd down.

The "I haven't had my period in Two Months" Concern going into next week Award:

As you probably have heard, the Patriots have the easiest schedule this season. Going into next week we get Chad Noodledick Pennington and the Dolphins. The old terrors of the Dolphins Zach Thomas and Jason Taylor are gone, which should bode well for the Patriots and their new QB. The one concern I have is Matt Cassel's knee. He got banged up pretty bad at the end of the 2nd quarter, and didn't look the same for the rest of the game. He looked uncertain, out of rhythmn and was limping. Was he hurt? Possibly. Were we one more hit away from seeing Kevin O'Connell? Jesus, yes. It took me a long time to get adjusted to the thought of having Matt Cassel as our QB, the one comforting thing was he has years to learn the playbook. O'Connell is a rookie. If he has to step in, that might be some cause for concern.

Thoughts and comments on the game? Disagree with me? Let us know!

Adalius Thomas photo courtesy of


The A-Train said...

got man handled along with his Full back (I believe it was the FB) into a sack bukkake

While that play was awesome (and a great way to show just how strong football players are) if Leon Washington is a full back FMRA is a nun.

GHABB,Y~! said...

Favre was gutsy and had fun playing the game while he was gunslinged to the ground in that sack.

SmartyBarrett said...

Whew, well, I started Matt Cassel in the MH Fantasy Football League, so I assume I'm winning. In fact, I don't even feel the need to check.

Aw, what the heck, let's have a look-seeeOH MY GOD!

futuremrsrickankiel said...


Oh, and fie upon you for the Maroney-hating. He was injured, dammit, and he played a crucial role in every one of the scoring drives he was on the field for.