Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Middlebrooks Mania Grips NY-Penn Short Season Class A Ball



On the festive occasion that is the First Annual Mass Hysteria Celebration of Middlebrooksmas (tm), we thought it might be a good time to update you all on the actual baseball progress of the Official Minor League Player of Mass Hysteria himself.

Unlike the Major Leagues (CURSE YOU BUD SELIG), the New York-Penn League doesn't stretch out its season until Thanksgiving. Therefore, the playoffs are already underway. The Spinners claimed their first playoff berth ever this year, winning the Stedler division (I hear Stedler's mom is a total MILF.....) by a comfortable 7.5 games, thereby moving on to play the Batavia (NY) Fuckdogs Muckdogs, a St. Louis affiliate, in the first playoff round.

The playoffs got underway last night, with Batavia jumping out to a 3-1 lead. Lowell scratched a run in the eight to cut the Batavia lead to 3-2, but things looked grim for the Spinners in the ninth.

But wait....

What's.....

What's that sound????

OH MY GOD!!!! THAT'S WILL MIDDLEBROOKS' MUSIC!!!!!!

As you'd expect, Will stepped up to the plate in the bottom of the ninth, said "I SAY EFF OFF TO THIS LOSING SHIZZLE, I DO", and spanked the first pitch well out of the park to tie the game -- his first home run as a Spinner, i.e. his first home run as a professional ballplayer, and one of three hits he had on the night. Not that this comes as any surprise -- Middlebrooks has been progressively tearing the crap out of the ball, raising his season average to .254 (.666 OPS) with a solid August (.268/.715 OPS) and a torrid end of the season (.421/1.132 OPS in the Spinner's last 5 games).

The Spinners went on to win on a bases-loaded walk (Middlebrooks having been walked intentionally earlier in the inning -- BATAVIA ARE NOT FOOLS!!!!) in the 12th to take a 1-0 lead in the best-of-three series. Lowell can close the deal and move on to the championship series tonight in Batavia, as the fantastically-named Stolmey Pimentel (which I think is how a pirate describes the theft of his Pimentel) (5-2, 3.14) takes on the less-fantastically-named Tom Eager (6-3, 1.76). Go Spinners.

Given that Portland and Pawtucket are both ending their seasons soon, it seems the only place for Will to continue his dominance would be at Fenway with the big club. Therefore, look for him to be promoted to the Sox very soon, bumping Jed Lowrie over to third and Youkilis to the bench.*

* Almost certainly will not happen.

4 comments:

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Jed Lowrie and Will Middlebrooks in the Red Sox infield at the same time would make me a very happy little cookie.

The A-Train said...

BATAVIA ARE NOT FOOLS

I've been to Batavia. I can assure you the residents of that town are, in fact, fools.

Hell, the only reason it exists is so I have a place to stop and piss when I'm going to a Bills game. Batavia's Thruway Bathroom: The tragic downside of drinking in the car

Pepster said...

Jed Lowrie and Will Middlebrooks in the Red Sox infield at the same time would make my little cookie happy.

/fixed

GHABB,Y~! said...

So you're saying that he Middle Managed that pitch? Ba-Zing! Tip your waitresses.