Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Get those Cyanide pills ready




This morning my alarm was set to WEEI and I awoke to the refreshing voice of John Dennis and Gerry Callahan. Between their rants against Barack Obama the duo were talking about Tom Brady and the Patriots. According to John Dennis, he has three sources within the Patriots organization that say that Tom Brady has a broken bone in his foot. Take a deep breath, because its not the end of the world he is still going to play. Dennis's sources say that Brady must have broken his foot around August 15, and its not a severe break. Whatever the fuck that means (No bones through the skin?) It usually takes about 6 weeks for that type of break to heal, hence the reason our lord and savior was out all preseason. But he is playing with a broken foot, I guess 19-0 is out of the question.

Breaks are a scary thing, I mean jesus look at the Shawn Michaels video GHABY posted yesterday. I am getting queasy thinking that we are one fat man crushing Brady's foot away from the Matt Cassel ERA. It's scary that our entire season could rest on that bone in Brady's foot. I fucking need a Klonopin, I am going to start hyperventilating any minute now. Dennis predicted that even with Cassel behind the helm the Pats could still win 9 games, I think that number is VERY generous. If Brady goes down its time to get ready for the Celtics.

5 comments:

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

John Dennis also has sources who indicate that METCO students standing at a bus stop are the same as gorillas.

So consider the source.

Sh!tShow said...

Wait... D & C are Republican?!?

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I'd rather wake up to Matt Light's dick in my face than EEI. Yeesh.

SmartyBarrett said...

Fat chick porn!

Rocco said...

I'm not a Patriot hater but the amount of "If Brady gets hurt..." talk was unusally widespread this year.

So, is HMLS in a coma yet?