No sports tonight, kiddos. Go out. Have fun. Maybe try out that hot new BBQ and beergarden in town and then tell futuremrsrickankiel how it is so she can decide if she wants to have her birthday party there.
In the meantime, please note that the voting is up for the Marvin Miller Man of the Year. As a sworn bleeding-heart liberal hippie vegan do-gooder dipshit who works at an inner-city charity, I get all warm and fuzzy when I see stuff like this. I love seeing athletes give genuinely of their time and resources to worthy causes, and it thrills me that MLB takes time to honor the players who do so every year. Up for the award as the Red Sox representative is Sean Casey:
From the moment he arrived in Boston, Casey has fully embraced Red Sox Nation. He has devoted time to many organizations, including the Red Sox Foundation, Mass Mentoring and the Jimmy Fund. Casey often greets fans and signs autographs for them at Fenway Park and on the road. He co-founded Labels Are For Jars, an organization that raises money to feed people in Lawrence, Mass., one of the poorest cities in the United States.
You go, Sean Casey! Way to bolster your competent hitting-in-the-7th-slot skills with a well-rounded resume of do-gooderism. Not to mention that devastatingly clever charity name. "Labels Are For Jars," eh? Were "Shoes Are For Feet" and "Books Are For Burnin" already taken? I feel like there's probably some sort of clever self-referential pun behind the name, but, well... I'm just not getting it, Sean. Did you have the Minnesota Twins' PR department come up with that one for you?
Ahem! So please, peruse the list and vote if you've got time. Remember: there are All-Stars, and then there are heroes.
Keee-rist, I'm so SERIOUS today. To alleviate all that, I present you with this little gem, as the Large Hadron Collider continues to not destroy the world: