Yes, that says "MassHysteriaSports.com" Yes, HzMLS and I were completely out of control at the Sox game last night. I mean, wouldn't you have been? It was a completely meaningless game, we had a few drinks before we even entered the friendly confines, and there were two smoking hot drunk 20-year-old chicks sitting right in front of us. Fun and ridiculousness ensued. I really told myself I would stop writing blogs like this, and stop being completely obnoxious to drunk girls, but Jesus this was a slam fucking dunk.
So we get to our seats in the middle of the first inning and the drunk girls make themselves known right off the bat. Besides barely being able to function, they were swaying, falling over, saying inappropriate things, spilling drinks, etc. HzMLS and I zone in and the lies begin. We go to BC, no, we went to BC. We're from RI, no CT, no RI. We're not yet 21. No wait, we just turned 21. I am barely able to keep up. Suffice it to say it was one of the more elaborate lies I've ever been a part of. After the fun of that wears off, HzMLS grabs a notebook and begins writing page after page of the following:
Now, I'm no marketing wizard, but I think this is a brilliant idea. He then starts to plant these notes in various places: inside the girls' hoodies, stuffed into one of the girl's purses...but then pulls off the best one yet. Enjoy it:
Yes, he was able to shove it in her back pocket without her realizing. But random lies and agressive marketing aside, there also was a baseball game. Fresh off kicking Gary Sheffield's ass, Fausto Carmona got the ball for the Indians, and he had just a miserable outting. Seriously, I bet like 15 pitches in he was wishing that he had elected to serve his suspension. 50 pitches in the first inning. 50!
Unfortunately, the Sox offense kind of died after that, and totally-going-to-be-in-the-bullpen-in-the-playoffs Paul Byrd let the Indians back into it and we had a 4-4 game on our hands. Jeff Bailey and Mark Kotsay took matters into their own hands though, and the mighty MDC closed it out for a meaningless win, yay! Also, JD Drew actually played!