Friday, August 1, 2008

On tap this weekend...

Goddamn it I'm so sick of baseball after this week. My roto fantasy team is in the shitter (thank you, Jonathan Sanchez), my phone pretty much exploded from the sheer volume of "OMG DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MANNY TRADE" text messages I received yesterday, and even though I spoke out strongly in favor of sending our be-dreadlocked cleanup hitter packing, I'm still broken-hearted as fuck over the end of what may very well be the greatest era of Red Sox history I will ever live through.

Fuck me, I just started crying. Again.

But, as they say: life goes on. On to the good news!

Former NL Rookie of the Year and all-around good guy Jason Bay will bring his well-mannered Canadian style of offense to the plate in Boston this weekend. The new outfielder (or "ootfielder," as I believe he pronounces it) will be a welcome presence in the Boston lineup as well as a boon to assholes like me who love making Canada jokes. I also just discovered that Bay and I have almost the exact same birthday (mine's September 19th, his is the 20th), so I've decided that we're going to be super best friends and have a joint party at Papa Gino's together. Hooray! The (goddamn) A's will be in town as we find ourselves once again mired in second place, 3 games back of the (goddamn) Rays.

On to the matchups!

Friday, 7:05 pm. Do the A's even HAVE pitching anymore? Justin Duchscherer (10-7, 2.37) is the closest thing they have to it, anyway. Kid's about as exciting to watch as paint drying, but he'll be solid against Timmy Wakefield (6-8, 3.94).

Saturday, 7:05 pm. Dana Eveland (7-7, 3.88), who's looked good lately but who really gives a crap, will take the mound against Jon Lestah (9-3, 3.17). Lester's K/BB ratio is creeping down again lately but it's still nice to feel a real sense of comfort when he's tossing for us. It's not quite the sense of safety that watching Beckett pitch last year always brought, but it's still pretty great. So, like, yay for Jon Lester.

Sunday, 1:35 pm. Daisuke Matsuzaka (11-2, 3.04, WHIP of approximately 400,000) will square off against Dallas Braden (2-1, 4.39), who might very well be the ugliest man in baseball. GAHH. My eyes burn just from looking at his player page for too long. Remember when the A's pitching staff was scorching hot? Here's a picture of Rich Harden.

Let's put this lame-ass trade deadline bullshit behind us (what kind of trade deadline doesn't involve Kenny Lofton?!) and enjoy the games this weekend, yes? Have a good one, anyhow. I'll be drunk starting 5 minutes ago.


The A-Train said...

I'm pretty sure Julián Tavárez is the ugliest player in baseball.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

You may have an argument there...

Also, if anyone cares: Jason Bay just got a huge standing ovation for his first plate appearance in a Boston uniform (walked, then scored on a sac fly from JED LOWRIEEEE).

And I fucking melted down in front of my TV. Bawled like a baby. I'm not ready to do this yet.

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

Future Mrs.:

I enjoyed watching Manny. He was a kookie guy. I will miss him as well. And I have absolutely ZERO doubt that if you or I were lying in the street with our intestines hanging out of a gaping chest wound after just having been hit by a bus, and Manny walked by, he would not lift a finger to help us or even call the authorities, because HE IS NOT FUCKING PAID TO FUCKING CARE ABOUT BULLSHIT LIKE THAT.

Just remember that when the tears come.

The A-Train said...

So the final score for the sawx/a's game was jed lowrie 2, some guy the misses won't foridbly bang 1. And mo lost it for the yankees.

/sent from my iphone

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Yeah, I don't think the tears were so much for Manny's passing as they were just an emotional release... this is no longer the same team, you know? I was excited and yet saddened to see Bay in the lineup... and the whole mess of emotions just kind of came leaking out my eyes or something.

The bar I was at went NUTS when the Sox pulled out the win. JED LOWRIEEEEEEEE!

The A-Train said...

the bar I was in went nuts when the mets lost because it great to watch a team intentionally walk the bases loaded and then give up a grand slam to mark frakin lorreta.

You'll get get over the loss of manny. If I survived the Yankees pretty much taking bernie Williams out back and shooting him, you can survive a trade.