Friday, August 15, 2008

On Tap This Weekend: America Jr. and America's Wang!

Red Sox v. Blue Jays. The Sox, hot off a 4-game sweep of the Rangers, remain at Fenway for a neat little weekend series with Toronto. LOL THEY'RE SO MEDIOCRE. It's true that the Jays have little going for them (not to mention suffering from a seeming resolution on the part of management to not sign any power hitting ever), but Roy Halladay is the most exciting pitcher to watch in the AL, so you'd be remiss in failing to catch at least tonight's game.

Friday, 7:05 pm. Halladay (13-9, 2.72) will trot out his dazzling stuff against (gahh!) Paul Byrd (7-10, 4.53 with Cleveland). Lots of reasons to watch this one... even if you think Paul Byrd is a crusty old kook, it'll be neat to see what he does in Boston.

Saturday, 7:05 pm. Big Bad Josh Beckett (11-8, 3.92) goes up against Shaun Marcum (7-5, 3.42). I've always thought that Marcum is terribly underrated. When his location is on, he's a cunning and highly effective pitcher. He's also 3-1 with a 3.00 ERA against the Sox in his career. Color me excited for this matchup.

Sunday, 1:35 pm. Clay Buchholz (2-8, 6.32) will attempt once again to look like the Future of Red Sox Pitching we all took him for last fall against AJ Burnett (15-9, 4.67). Damn, I forgot how good Toronto's rotation is. Bummer we don't get to see Jesse Litsch on this trip. It doesn't REALLY seem fair that Burnett's managed to eke more wins than Halladay out of the utterly lame Toronto offense this season, but I like the Buchholz/Burnett pairing regardless.

In summary: great pitching matchups and 3 chances to hear "O Canada" performed live. What's not to like? Yay baseball!

Sopping wet update: Game tonight rained/lightninged/generally shitty-weathered out. It'll be made up as part of a day/night double-header on September 13, at which point I'll probably have forgotten why we had to reschedule and will bitch about MLB making us play a double-header against the snooze-worthy Jays. Anyway, the pitching matchups will be moved forwards: Byrd/Halladay on Saturday and Beckett/Marcum on Sunday. Those of you just dying for that Buchholz/Burnett matchup are shit out of luck, I'm afraid. Here, have the rest of my Chinese food.

But wait!


Ah yes, fair denizens of Mass Hysteriopolis. There is MOTHERFUCKING PATRIOTS FOOTBALL ON THIS WEEKEND. Booyakasha.

Patriots v. Buccaneers, Sunday, 8:00 pm. The timid pass-calling of Matt and Matt... now with 100% more John Lynch. There'll be a distinct smell of mothballs and prune juice coming from safety on Sunday -- if he sees any playing time, that is. It'll be a homecoming of sorts for Lynch, who was initially drafted by the Bucs back in 199-FRIGGIN-3. I was in 4th grade and convinced I was going to marry a boy named Michael who used to color on my math homework. Anyway, Lynch played for the Bucs for 10 years and is immortalized in statue form as a part of that oh-so-swashbuckling "Moment of Victory" exhibit at Raymond James Stadium. WELCOME HOME, GRAMPA!! Whadja bring me whadja bring me?

There's not a whole lot to get psyched for about the immediacies of this game, but lord help me if I'm not excited to sit down with a 6-pack of some tasty high-falutin' microbrew and watch my team play some GOOD OLD-FASHIONED FOOTBAWL DADGUMIT on a Sunday evening. Sign me up and sit me down.

A round of drinks for everyone, on me. Have a killer weekend, loves!


Grimey said...

That Moment of Victory exhibit is actually at One Buc Place (the Buccaneers office building and practice facility). It is also SUPERCREEPY.

futuremrsrickankiel said...


/vomits in your car

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

Jeff Garcia will be hopelessly distracted on Saturday because he will be missing Olympic Men's Gymnastics.