Friday, August 29, 2008

Breakfast With The Hysterics!

* Jason Giambi and his hideous mustache stomped all over the Sox' sweep dreams, first tying it up with a 2-run homer off Okajima in the 7th and then smacking a bases-loaded single off Papelbon to win it for the Yanks 3-2 in the 9th. OMG THE YANKEES WON THE LAST GAME AT YANKEE STADIUM AGAINST THE RED SOX IT'S LIKE FATE OR SO... blech, sorry, can't keep that shit up. Yankee Stadium is dead, long live Yankee Stadium. It's not about where they play the games, son. It's about who wins 'em.

* SIGH. Josh Beckett was once again scratched from his start tonight in favor of Daisuke Matsuzaka in order to go visit a doctor about his persistent elbow troubles. Hey Doc, I think I've got "suddenly stopped knowing how to be a dominant pitcher." You got anything for that?

* No surprises here: The Patriots dropped their final preseason game 19-14 thanks to utterly lackluster performances from The Matts and an offense that seemed to have like eight tight ends on the field at once. Whatever. I'm not going to waste my energy on preseason game analysis. They won, we lost, David Carr is really pretty good when he's not handcuffed to shitty teams, and a week from today I'll be thinking about REAL football. YEARGH FOOTBAWL

/purchases beer
/makes appetizers
/carves out ass groove in couch
/plays several hours of Madden while wearing team jersey in preparation

* Speaking of football, all hail USC Gamecocks safety Emmanuel Cook, a man who just 6 days ago was arrested on a felony gun charge and yet still found it appropriate to drop and do pushups in celebration on the field last night for one of the more spectacular unsportsmanlike conduct flags I've seen thrown. A special prize for the first person who can send me a video of the incident so we can all enjoy it. Just don't go reading Gamecocks fan forums as you look for it -- I've been doing that for the past half hour and now I can't do math.

I kind of liked our little musical interlude yesterday morning, so here we go again. We'll slow things down a bit today. Everyone go grab someone to have an awkward slow dance with and report back here!

6 comments:

Grimey said...

David Carr is really pretty good when he's not handcuffed to shitty teams

Just a reminder, Eric Zeier once looked REALLY good in a preseason game

Zach Martin said...

SNOWBALL!

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Where is everyone today?! Did the Madonna scare people off? Don't worry... you don't have to slow dance with ME...

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

Lil Weezey >>>>>>> Madonna

The A-Train said...

Dance? Baby girl, I don't dance. I stand at the bar watching the Yankees game and drinking until the pain goes away (it never does these days).

But, there have been times when I've been know to 'get down' as the kids say. With you? No. I imagine it would be like those discovery show specials, where the female and male pray mantis 'dance' and then the female rips the males head off and devours his still-quivering body.

Yeah, I'll pass on that and get another round [waves for bartender]

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Best comment ever.