Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Breakfast With The Hysterics!


* The Red Sox rolled over the Yankees 7-4 despite some struggles for Tim Wakefield (who has always pitched shittily against the Yankees, and apparently decided to honor tradition last night). Although the first few innings were close, the Sox were able to break it open in the 5th thanks to some nifty baserunning and a Jeff Bailey single that managed to elude Alex Rodriguez (LOL) and score Coco Crisp and Jed Lowrie. The Yanks threatened a rally when they loaded the bases in the 7th, but Justin Masterson came in and speedily induced an inning-ending double play to put the kibosh on that. Bobby Abreu was mad. Considering that the Yankees' pitching staff consists of cavemen, a few wide-eyed toddlers, and a couple of poorly-watered houseplants, it'd be pretty lame if we didn't manage to sweep them at home. Meanwhile, the Yankees fans continued to boo A-Rod every time he failed to hit a grand slam or turn a triple play. Those fucking sacks of ungrateful fuck. I HATE YOU, YANKEES FANS. I HATE YOU.

* The revolving door to the Red Sox DL kept on swinging, as the Sox announced that Josh Beckett will be prepared to start on Friday (YAY), but that JD Drew will be plunked on the 15-day DL (BOO). I'd make a "LOL HE IS ALWAYS INJURED" joke here, but Drew's been an absolute beast this season, and I respect his decision to tend to his back issues now so he'll be 100% down the line. But wait! We might get Mark Kotsay! He's pretty much the same person as Drew! Phew. For a minute there I was worried that we might not have an old white former Atlanta Brave with a grizzled-looking beard and competent hitting stats in our outfield.

* The Giants (ack... seizure...) apparently had the, "We want to get back together" talk with Michael Strahan. He said no. AWWWWKWAARRRRRD! The Giants are terrible and will go 5-11 this year. Awesome.

* Hillary rocked everyone's faces off at the DNC. RESPECT, Y'ALL. If Obama wins this election, it will be entirely because of the Clintons. I hate politics.

6 comments:

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

Mark Kotsay eh? This will get us one step closer to having 25 white players on our roster and reinforcing every stupid Boston stereotype.

Zach Martin said...

Hillary rocked everyone's faces off at the DNC. RESPECT, Y'ALL. If Obama wins this election, it will be entirely because of the Clintons. I hate politics.

I left college to put politics behind me. Four years as a polisci major was enough for me. I come here for overtly racist comments like Andy "Would You Like To" Pettite (13-9, 4.17) and his ethnic-yet-not-too-threateningly-so good looks. (beautiful) and dick jokes...oh, and sports, or something.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I feel you. Had to give my girl a shout-out, but in general I much prefer sports and offensive humor to politics.

Oh, and THANK YOU for noticing my Andy Pettite joke... I was really proud of myself for that. Inordinately so, perhaps.

The A-Train said...

Considering that the Yankees' pitching staff consists of cavemen, a few wide-eyed toddlers, and a couple of poorly-watered houseplants and an arubian knight!

SmartyBarrett said...

Your score prediction from last night was pretty damn close. I predicted 7-3 myself, except I had the Yankees winning. Fail.

Also, fuck the Giants.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

FUCK THE GIANTS.

Indeed.