Monday, August 11, 2008

Boston Sports Tonight!

Red Sox v. White Sox, 8:11 pm. Sometimes I hate baseball. This is one of those times. The Rays 4.5 games up in the standings, Wake injured, Buchholz stubbornly refusing to stop sucking, and losing 2 of 3 to the Chicago "Thanks In Advance For Sweeping Us In The First Round Of The Playoffs So We Can All Go Home And Play Madden '08" White Sox? WHY DO I EVEN WATCH THIS STUPID TEAM

...

gahh. So we have to pull out a win in Chicago tonight so as not to look like total losers. COME ON, NOT LOOKING LIKE LOSERS. The Sox' record on the road is now a dismal 27-35 (compared to 40-16 at home). Here's hoping Josh Beckett (10-8, 4.08) will step it up for Boston against super-cute but very streaky lefty John Danks (9-4, 3.21).


Tune in if you dare.

Incidentally, I find it interesting that, despite the fact that the Sox offense has looked totally lackluster since the All-Star Break, we're actually still underperforming our Pythagorean W-L record by a solid three games. With 590 runs scored and only 482 allowed, our record should theoretically be 70-48, not 67-51. RUN SUPPORT RUN SUPPORT RUN SUPPORT, kids. I wonder how many of those 482 runs the Sox bullpen is responsible for. My estimate is "most." Meanwhile, the much-lauded Rays offense has only scored 539 runs while allowing 474, putting their theoretical record at 65-52... a whole 6 games under their current win total of 71. WHAT?! SOMEONE CALL BUD SELIG AND START AN INVESTIGATION. THIS WILL NOT STAND DAMMIT. If it were up to me, all victories in baseball would be determined on the basis of whose cleats are the shiniest. WATCH OUT EVERYONE HERE COMES OAKLAND!!

Frivolous prop bet of the night: Seriously, the White Sox are such an impossibly dull team that there is nothing funny I can say about them. Oh, that Ozzie Guillen... he's such a firecracker! What wacky and inappropriate thing will he say tonight? NO ONE FUCKING CARES. Here's a prop bet for you: I bet I don't give a shit.

Serious prediction of the night: Wow, Josh Beckett posted a 2.38 ERA in June and then a 5.74 ERA in July. In both May and July he allowed 20 earned runs, but in June he only allowed 9. I say June Beckett is due back in town. COMPLETE GAME TONIGHT, 3 ERs and 11 Ks. Disagree? Well, your mom's a skank, so, there's that.

My lord I really am cranky this afternoon. You know what I bet will make me feel better?

GLITTER
LOGOS!!!

6 comments:

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

Glitter Logos? FAAHHHHHHHBULO-USSS!!!!

Zach Martin said...

eyes hurt, siezure coming...

Rocco said...

Glitter logos? I just puked up my 3-martini lunch. Thanks future mrs.

Pepster said...

I have been away for awhile - but I still wanted to say congrats on the great looking new format!

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Thanks, Pepster! We're big fans too :)

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

"super-cute but very streaky lefty John Danks"

Can I please post pictures of half naked female Olympians? Pretty please?