Thursday, August 7, 2008

Boston Sports Tonight: THE RETURN OF FOOTBALL!

Oh god. What am I to do?

The Sox have an off-night. There are no nationally-televised games on. The Olympics don't start until tomorrow (and who honestly gives a crap about those?). WHAT AM I TO WATCH, FUTUREMRSRICKANKIEL?!

Ah! Fear not, my lovelies. For tonight marks that most auspicious of events, that most anticipated of athletic contests:


Patriots v. Ravens, 7:30 pm. Sure, it's a meaningless preseason game in which a parade of players we won't see again for the duration of the season get trotted out for 4-5 downs apiece as our starters ride the bench and attempt not to get injured on the few token plays they make. But it's FOOTBALL, dammit, and it's on. I'm watching. So should you.

Now's your chance to get answers to all those burning questions you've had lingering in the back of your mind since last season (which, as I recall, mysteriously ended the last week in January, leaving us with an 18-0 record). Have Matt Cassel's clipboard-holding skills stayed strong? Will our 1st-round draft pick, linebacker Jerod Mayo, make more of a splash than Brandon Meriweather did? Will Jabar Gaffney or Chad Jackson ultimately win the coveted spot of Wide Receiver Who Isn't Randy Moss or Wes Welker? Has Bill Belichick finally dropped all pretense and just started sacrificing virgins from Gloucester on the sidelines before every down? (Trick question: there are no virgins in Gloucester.)

You might not be excited. BUT YOU SHOULD BE DAMMIT. So get thee to a TV and watch. Hooray for football!

Frivolous prop bet of the night: The final Pats preseason game is against the Giants. Even though this is not that game, and that game is nearly a month away, I'd put the over/under on the number of times the ABC announcers will mention it at about 154.

Serious prediction of the night: Ah, who gives a fuck? It's preseason football. Who knows who's even going to play? Just sit back and enjoy.

***TOTALLY SEXY UPDATE*** Hazel Mae's Landing Strip will be liveglogging the game. Until he gets bored (i.e. as soon as Kevin O'Connell comes in). Come stop by for the fun! BYOB.

1 comment:

minervablau said...

I noticed that Manny Ramirez hit a two-run home run in the third inning at Busch Stadium last night. Nice! Looks as though reggaeton isn't the only thing he brought to Los Angeles (Go Dodgers)!