Thursday, August 14, 2008

Boston Sports Tonight: Permanent Mental Scars Edition

Red Sox v. Rangers, 7:05 pm. Little Tommy Hunter (0-1, 10.61) will make just his 3rd start EVAR against Daisuke Matsuzaka (13-2, 2.90). Matsuzaka went an impressive 8 innings last time he tossed against the White Sox, so here's hoping he can keep that going despite the Texans' powerful bats and Kevin Youkilis' unbelievably sloppy play at third. Vicente Padilla, literally the only decent starter that Texas has, was a late scratch for tonight, so poor Tommy's getting thrown to the dogs. Eep!

I'm not going to lie. My heart's not in this preview. That Drew brothers slash fiction (for the record, the site has more, even more disturbing pairings. Timlin/Wakefield. Arroyo/Beckett. Beckett/LOWRIE. WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?! THIS IS FUCKING PERSONAL NOW!!!) pretty much broke my will to live, let alone watch baseball. I can only hope that the Sox will play well enough tonight to make me forget about my shattered soul.

Frivolous prop bet of the night: I bet I never look at JD Drew the same way again. SWEET MERCIFUL SHIT. Never be clean... never be clean...

Serious prediction of the night: My GOD the Rangers' pitching is SO TERRIBLE. Yeah, I'ma go ahead and say we win this. By a lot.

3 comments:

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

The Sox treated little Tommy Hunter like JD treated Stephen's assOHMYGOD NO NO NO MAKE THE MEMORY GO AWAY PLEASE SWEET JESUS

/frantically scrubs hands

WHAT, WILL THESE HANDS NE'ER BE CLEAN? ALL THE WATERS OF ARABY WILL NOT WASH THESE STAINS FROM MY MEMORY!!!!!

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Is that a dagger I see before me?!

One...

Two...

Now's the time to do't!

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

The easiest way to rid yourself of those intrusive thoughts is to take out my good friend Jim Beam. Just drink as much Jim as it takes to kill the area of the brain that contains that memory. I tried and lost my ability to smell, and do simply addition. Not a bad trade off.