Monday, August 18, 2008

Boston Sports Tonight: Iambic Pentameter Edition!

Red Sox v. Orioles, 7:05 pm.

Double, double, toil and trouble;
The Jays hath burst the Red Sox' bubble!


A rainy, grueling weekend hath it been;
I dare not recollect the 2-game sweep.
Yet, lo, a fair-browed vision have I seen:
Jon Lester comes to save us from the deep!
His three-point-two-five ERA doth speak
Of pitching mastery he'll bring to bear:
Eleven wins, including one last week.
Who stands to stop our gallant Knight? None dare,
Save swarthy Guthrie. Worthy foe, indeed,
Three-point-one-eight earned runs per nine; ten wins.
Our slumping Boston bats should well take heed
As these two mighty fastball-hurling twins
Step up tonight. Tune in! I vow 'twill be
A match-up worthy of thine energy.

Tonight's prop bet: The Mormon Guthrie will
See visions heavenly atop the hill.

Predictions, then: Great starting pitchers, both,
But Lowrie hits a home run, by my troth.

10 comments:

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

/standing ovation

Now do Lear!

Zach Martin said...

Thought I left this shit back in high school with my virginity.

/just started blogging
//used to actually play sports

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Wahh wahh. This isn't LOLcats, dammit. So fucking sue me for trying to elevate the tone of this dump.

Oh, and I was varsity lacrosse and basketball in high school. Sorry I read books and stuff too.

Zach Martin said...

I'm kidding, it was actually very nicely done. You got some talents mrs.

The A-Train said...

Ah, good old MacBeth. I'm a big fan of Othello myself.

As a yankees fan, all I have to say is this:

oh fmra, fmra, wherefore art thou fmra?

Grimey said...

Wahh wahh. This isn't LOLcats, dammit.

How dare you.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I DIDN'T SAY LOLJOCKS THAT IS ONE OF THE FINEST WEBSITES I HAVE SEEN ON THESE INTERNETS

God, everyone's such a CRYBABY today.

Or maybe I'm just a huge bitch today.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Aw, now I scared everyone off. Come back! Have some vegan cookies!!

The A-Train said...

today!?

/ducks

GHABB,Y~! said...

Um, where's the race bating and rape jokes? There's no place for highbrow here.