Red Sox v. Orioles, 7:05 pm.
Double, double, toil and trouble;
The Jays hath burst the Red Sox' bubble!
A rainy, grueling weekend hath it been;
I dare not recollect the 2-game sweep.
Yet, lo, a fair-browed vision have I seen:
Jon Lester comes to save us from the deep!
His three-point-two-five ERA doth speak
Of pitching mastery he'll bring to bear:
Eleven wins, including one last week.
Who stands to stop our gallant Knight? None dare,
Save swarthy Guthrie. Worthy foe, indeed,
Three-point-one-eight earned runs per nine; ten wins.
Our slumping Boston bats should well take heed
As these two mighty fastball-hurling twins
Step up tonight. Tune in! I vow 'twill be
A match-up worthy of thine energy.
Tonight's prop bet: The Mormon Guthrie will
See visions heavenly atop the hill.
Predictions, then: Great starting pitchers, both,
But Lowrie hits a home run, by my troth.