Monday, July 7, 2008

Breakfast with the Hysterics

They also eat frogs, their women don't shave their armpits, and they smell bad.

* The Red Sox bullpen is about to give me a fucking aneurysm. Or they have already given me one, and I just don't know about it. Now that I think about it, I have lost my sense of taste and ability to count. The duo of Javier Lopez and Papelboner gave away a lead of 4-2 and then blew the game. Ironically enough the Pitcher formally known as Hideki Okajima pitched a solid 9th inning (when I watched him come into the game, I turned to the Cartoon Network fearing the inevitable). The Sox bullpen is scary bad this year, inconsistent from top to bottom and the reason why we could be fighting for 3rd place after the all star break. GET BRIAN FUENTES NOW.

* Nothing irritates me more than second guessing the manager after a loss, but let's do it anyway. Why was 10-for-1,000,000,000,000 Jason Varitek pinch-hitting with the game on the line? Who gives a fuck if it was Kevin Cash (CAASSSSSHHHHHHH) up, right now Tek is colder than Ted Williams (cymbal hit). Tek blows, is hitting like balls, and for the second game in a row blew a chance to win the game. Thanks Captain.

* The All-Star Teams were announced yesterday and a slew of Red Sox will be back in NY next week. Manny will get a chance to pull out again (pulled hammy?), David Ortiz who hasn't played the last month and played another month like shit was elected but won't go, JD DREWWWWWWWWWWWWW (sorry I love him), Pedroia, Papelboner, and Youk will all be going. Finally "The Natural" Jason Varitek was somehow elected by his peers, I found this out at about the same time that ESPN flashed a graphic showing that Tek is the lowest hitting C in the AL. "OH BUT HE CAUGHT 3 4 NO HITTERS, O AN HE SEXY" SHUT UP

* Do you hear that rumbling Mid West? That is 300+ pounds of pitcher waddling from Cleveland to Milwaukee. CC sent text messages to ESPN saying he was excited to devour the peoplesized sausages that run around the stadium.

1 comment:

Rocco said...

I'm trying to figure out why Wake was pulled. Yes, I heard what Joe Morgan and Johnny Miller said. But Wake had already struck out Posada twice. Forget about A-Rod or the double play. Get the 2nd out then let someone finish off the inning if you have to.