Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Boston Sports Tonight!

Red Sox v. Mariners, 10:10 pm. After snapping a 3-game post-All Star Break hangover thanks to some fine pitching by Jon "Mo" Lester and the slap-happy bats of Jason Varitek and Jed Lowrie (!!), the Sox look to keep on a'rolling against the so-awful-it-pains-me Mariners at Safeco Field tonight. Seattle's answer to Tim Wakefield (like the regular Wakefield, only he comes with a cup of coffee and a Patagonia fleece), R.A. Dickey (2-4, 3.73), will bring his plodding knuckleball and weird chin to the mound against the still improbably excellent stats of Daisuke Matsuzaka (10-1, 2.65). Sigh. Only on a team like the 2008 Mariners could a starting pitcher with a 3.73 ERA have a record of 2-4. Thanks, Bill Bavasi!

Lowrie, whose ability as a switch-hitter and patience at the plate have prompted comparisons with beloved former Sock Bill Mueller, was batting 9th last night. Haven't yet found the lineup for today. I would have thought his performance from earlier this season might have made him a natch for the #2... Pedroia's far and away the hottest hitter in the Boston bench right now, though, so I guess there's no room for Lowrie at the top of the lineup. Kind of like baby Jesus and the inn.

Also, if Amalie Benjamin were a Dugout character, her screen name would be AmalieBoutTheBenjaminsBaby.

Frivolous prop bet of the night: The Mariner Moose's conspicuous absence from the game leads to a delay and an all-out search that ultimately turns up the Moose crying over a postcard from his departed best friend Richie Sexson. "DEAR MOOSE. CAMP IS GOING GREAT. NEW YORK IS A LOT OF FUN. ME AN' KYLE FARNSWORTH SOMETIMES BEAT UP THE HOT DOG VENDORS DURING THE SEVENTH INNING STRETCH. HOPE IT'S NOT TOO RAINY IN SEATTLE. LOVE, RICHIE."

Serious prediction of the night: The ground-out-after-ground-out stylings of a knuckleballer paired with Dice-K's ability to scatter like 18 hits and still not allow a single run? Blech. DO NOT WANT. I'll be asleep by the 3rd inning.


SEXY LINEUP UPDATE YAY
Ellsbury
Pedroia
Drew
Ramirez
Lowell
Youkilis
Lowrie
Varitek
Crisp





Oh, and a reminder! If you want to join our Super Awesome Fantasy Baseball Football League Of Amazingness, please drop me a line at futuremrsrickankiel (at) gmail (dot) com. No super hard-core entry requirements; just please don't send me an email IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. DO YOU LIKE ERIC MANGINI? I LIKE ERIC MANGINI TOO. Guhhhhhhh.

4 comments:

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

Someone's got a furry fetish!!!!

Does your cow costume have perky udders?

futuremrsrickankiel said...

/shakes fist

GHABB,Y~! said...

Or even our Fantasy Football league...

Comicbook Guy said...

could it be a Perky fantasy League?