Monday, June 2, 2008

The Weekend Gospel According to Hazel Mae's Landing Strip

The Weekend of May 30th, year 2008...

* Yeah, remember how the Celtics couldn't win on the road, and they couldn't come back against a team like Detroit? Well they did (both!) and Detroit was sent packing in Game 6. The Big Three (yes, they have finally earned the nickname) are all going to the NBA Finals for the first time against Kobe Bryant and the Lakers. In related news, the media is still struggling to find storylines for the Finals. Looks like the ax could be falling for Flip Saunders soon.

* The Craig Hansen monster was tweaked again and version 4.6 is a far more efficient creature. The Sox go into 13 innings against the Orioles and pull off a 5-2 win after the Orioles aimlessly throw the ball around for an entire inning.

* Pittsburgh loses its first home game of the postseason in the NHL. Sidney Crosby deals with losing the game by sniveling like a little bitch and mouthing off to the other team after the game. Great.

* MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYY. Finally our lazy, absentminded, AWESOME FUTURE HALL OF FAMER hits #500. Sox take advantage of the CRAPPY Orioles 'pen and take game 2. Jim Thome is really happy for his friend, how cute.

* Jay Bruce is awesome. FMRA wanted me to reiterate that so that readers of this site know our position on him. She has many different positions FOR him, but that is for a later discussion. Bruce launches game winning home run, overshadowing Griffey's #599.

* Mark Prior is hurt again, will need season ending surgery to repair torn vagina.

* Where is Kerry Wood and what have you done with him? Wood saves the day again, Cubs win 7th straight game. Have best record in baseball, what the fuck is going on here?

* Red Sox go batty on Sunday with 3 home runs and 16 hits, which helps Colon pass through a tough spell. Manny hits #501; Papi sits with hurt wrist.


futuremrsrickankiel said...

Jay Bruce!

GHABB,Y~! said...

He's great because he has two first names.