Settle in, everyone. It's nothing but baseball from now until September. I hope you like hot dogs and pointless game delays... for example, when Jason Isringhausen takes 35 goddamn minutes to throw a pitch.
Red Sox v. Diamondbacks, 7:05 pm. This pitching matchup tonight is hot like fire! It's strictly personal, but ever since Brandon Webb started sucking it up for my roto league and Dan Haren rocketed me from 10th to 5th of 20 in my H2H league, it should be obvious which Arizona Ace is currently my favorite. Haren (7-4, 3.26) will face Josh Beckett (7-4, 3.87) as the Sawx look to reassert themselves in interleague play. Maybe it's their matching smirks and facial hair, but I kind of feel like Josh Beckett and Dan Haren would get along really well. Maybe they can go out for frosty chocolate milkshakes after the game or something.
Also I think it's totally fair and reasonable that we get stuck playing the goddamn Diamondbacks so the Mets and the Yanks can have their yearly circle jerk in whateverthefuck borough they play in now.
Frivolous prop bet of the night: Stephen Drew becomes infuriated when his older brother JD attempts to win a spot in Pi Beta Alpha for the likeable but chubby Justin Upton. Sparks fly as Stephen is forced to choose between his friendship with the "cool kids" (Micah Owings and Chris Young) and his loyalty to his brother!
Serious prediction of the night: Beckett's been less dominant this year, but I feel like he's going to rise to the occasion and toss a solid 7 innings of 2-run ball tonight. Maybe the Chin Fairy will even come and leave a chin under his pillow while he sleeps so he won't need to resort to that aggressively-groomed facial hair thing that guys do when they have no bone structure.