Friday, June 13, 2008

Boston Sports Tonight!

Red Sox v. Reds, 7:10 pm. The Sox arrive at the Great American Ball Park tonight for the first time since the 1975 World Series, which I assume we won since the Red Sox have a long and storied history of always winning world championships. Right? RIGHT?! Anyhoo, we’ll get to see Justin Masterson (3-0, 2.59) show off his pitching AND batting skills tonight against the struggling Aaron Harang (2-9, 4.31), who looks kind of like a big droopy basset hound. I like to imagine his speaking voice is something like Goliath’s on Davey and Goliath. Cincy is currently floundering around in last place in the NL Central -- behind the Pirates, for god’s sake -- and doesn’t look to be moving from there any time soon despite the omnipotence of rookie hotness Jay Bruce, whose visage is presented here for my your viewing pleasure. Plus, Dusty Baker is the worst manager that even managed to manage. In other words: I like our odds. Also, Kevin Cash is playing, so A Pimp Named DaveR can have himself a little party that no one else will come to because it's lame as hell.

On an entirely unrelated note, did anyone else notice that tonight’s Cubs/Royals game starts at 7:07? What the hell kind of random-ass start time is that? MLB SCHEDULING MAKES NO SENSE TO ME AHHH

Frivolous prop bet of the night: Bronson Arroyo is found after the game kneeling at Theo Epstein’s feet, weeping and begging, "Please... take me back... you don’t know what it’s like here... Dusty makes me throw 4,598 pitches per game and no one appreciates my wacky hairstyles or craptacular guitar playing..."

Serious prediction of the night: Quite frankly, I don’t care enough about the Reds to put a great deal of thought into this, but I’ll predict a final score of 8-3. If these guys are the Reds, we're Joe Freaking McCarthy, ya get me?

1 comment:

A Pimp Named DaveR said...


... shall triumph over the Harang-utan.