Thursday, May 22, 2008

A Very Special Afternoon Game Sneak Preview!

Red Sox v. Royals, 1:35 pm. The Sox go for the 4-game sweep of the Royals and their 7th consecutive win this afternoon at Fenway. Hurrah! Dice-K (7-0, 2.15) will take the mound for the Sox; if he wins today, he’ll be the first pitcher in the AL to reach 8 wins on the season. BOOM! Righty Brian Bannister (4-5, 4.29) will attempt to stop the skid for Kansas City. Bannister looked scorching in April but has definitely floundered in his last 3 starts, letting up 11 runs on 22 hits over 21 innings pitched. Yikes! Meanwhile, Dice-K has posted a 1.45 ERA over 3 starts in May, fanning 15 batters over 18 2/3 innings pitched. MOTHRA WILL RAIN DESTRUCTION OVER US ALL! YEARRGHHH!

Ahem. Follow along with MLB Gameday here. Hurrah for afternoon baseball!

25 comments:

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

Didn't some guy just die in Atlanta because he got drunk and slid down Brian Bannister?

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Don't know if you saw this, Daver, but your boyfriend Kevin Cash is in the lineup in all his .186-career-batting-average glory. OMG SWEET!

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

If you are ripping on Kevin Cash you need to check yo' self before you wreck yo'self fool.

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

K. Cash: .341
J. Lowrie: .310, and in AAA.

O AN HE SEXY

futuremrsrickankiel said...

The only thing smaller than your sample size is your junk.

You're both idiots.

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

FMRA you ignorant slut.

He is hitting,
He is a backup catcher.
He has almost as many hits in May as Mirabelli did all of last year.

That is all.

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

YOU CAN'T HANDLE MY JUNK.

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

Actually, wait a second -- you can handle my junk all you want.

Just like Kevin Cash can handle the knuckleball! YEAH, IN YOUR FACE!!!!

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Oh no you guys are totally right. By all means let us bench Varitek permanently in favor of Cash, and continue to let Lugo botch routine outs and hit into double plays in the SS position rather than bringing up Lowrie. THIS IS A GREAT IDEA

Fucking morons.

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

"
He is hitting,
He is a backup catcher."

Thought I made that pretty clear.

Oh this FLAME WAR IS ON.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

OH MY GOD

DUSTIN PEDROIA IS ONLY HITTING .304

AND HE HAS HAD MANY MORE CHANCES TO GET HITS THAN CASH

HE MUST ALSO SUCK

dubbschism said...

notably missing from this discussion: any mention of Kevin Cash's name. He's money, baby.

ejected fan said...

the future mrs rick ankiel eh...
thats like saying the future mrs. julian tavarez

ejected fan said...

who uses cash anymore?
i like my visa check card
why do I always get checks from dubb, mudville and smartybarrett?

dubbschism said...

because you're a steroids distributor?

futuremrsrickankiel said...

HOLY FUCK JD DREW GRAND SLAM

dubbschism said...

he would do that, right after i dropped him in favor of AAA raker Jay Bruce.

dubbschism said...

and let's be honest, that should have been Cash's dinger.

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

Fear of Cash = meatball for J.D.

ejected fan said...

do you have experience with cash's dinger?

ejected fan said...

C.A.S.H
Catcher
Awesomely
Spectacular
Hitter

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

I doubt FMRA has experience with Cash's dinger, but she would like to play ball with Jed Lowrie.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

/fumes

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

Cash is money and he doesn't even know it.

Starting Aces said...

Cash rules everything around me.