Monday, May 12, 2008

TG, TB, & TU: Part 3

Welcome to the exciting conclusion of.....

The Good....

The Bad....

...And The Ugly.

Part 3 -- The Ugly

Like I need to tell you where I'm going here.

(1) Julio Lugo's Defense


OMG WTF is that???? MAKE IT GO AWAY!1!!!111!!


Eleven errors. The worst defensive shortstop in the major leagues. Makes us long for the spectacular play of Mike Benjamin and Jose Offerperson. Do I need to go on?

On the plus side, at least he isn't a complete black hole at the plate this year. He's nowhere near the offensive player Theo, et al. told us we were getting.... but he isn't a complete black hole.

I have to admit -- I've been a Julio defender up until now. But then again, I've also been a defender of Wily Mo Pena and Crazy Julian, so maybe I'm just a sucker for lost causes. Lugo doesn't bother me as much as some other notable failures in Sox history bothered me, because I really do believe that Lugo is working hard to improve his performance. Also, he looks like he needs a shave, a shower, and a hot meal, and maybe a second-hand jacket that will help him get a job interview. Plus, we definitely know who will play him in "Red Sox: The Motion Picture"...


DO..... NOT..... SEEK..... THE ERROR!!!!!!


I think the ultimate problem is that Lugo is clearly too highly strung to succeed in Boston. He's the total opposite of Edgar Renteria, who wasn't highly strung enough.


But like it or not, he's your shortstop until, I would guess, the end of next year at the earliest. And J.D. Poo is your RF until his contract expires in 2247. Why? Because Theo Epstein is a human being, that's why. Theo has already been forced to admit TWO terrible, terrible errors in judgment during his brief tenure -- selling Renteria at $.50 on the dollar, and completely giving up on Josh Bard and Cla Meredith in about a tenth of a second each. The Bard/Meredith deal would have been a franchise-killer for any other team -- two now-proven major league talents given away for, essentially, nothing. Those two transactions are professional embarassments for Mr. Epstein. Which is why.... and let me emphasize this for effect....


THERE IS NO WAY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH THAT THEO EPSTEIN IS EVER GOING TO ADMIT THAT LUGO AND DREW WERE MISTAKES.


Lugo will be your shortstop until 2010; Jed Lowrie will wait his turn. J.D. Poo will be your right fielder; Brandon Moss is nothing but a backup. That is how it is going to be, because anything else would be an admission that Theo made two intensely shitty free agent decisions. And if I know one thing about people, it is this... and let me emphasize this for effect...


PEOPLE NEVER DELIBERATELY AND INTENTIONALLY CONFIRM THEIR OWN FUCKUPS

Well, ALMOST never.....

So there you have it. Boo all you want, Red Sox Nation. Rant all you want, brain damaged Gerry Callahan fans. Set yourself on fire all you want, protesting Buddhist monks. None of it is going to make a lick of difference. Terrible though he may be, Julio Lugo is your shortstop until 2010. Deal with it.

5 comments:

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I am going to go hang myself.

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

Doug Mirabelli is more than nothing.

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

Stop hacking HMLS's account and posting here, Doug.

dubbschism said...

i think if any GM in the business is equipped enough to realize a sunk cost, it's theo. yes, lugo's $8M is QUITE the cost, but if lowrie can do half as bad as lugo defensively, their contracts taken together won't be too too bad. (and the financial flexibility of the sox ALMOST make it a non-issue anyway.) i GUARANTEE, barring a major turnaround, lugo is not the opening day shortstop in 09.

also drew is MUCH, much better than people give him credit for. postseason heroics aside, he OPS+'d a 105 last year while playing stellar defense in a very difficult right field. he's doing even better this year but fails to get the free pass jacoby assberry does because drew doesn't have any "fire" or "spirit" and doesn't run as fast as jacoby. it's bullshit. jd drew is a great baseball player and for whatever reason boston fans REFUSE to admit it.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Agreed on the Drew discussion above. Drew hits, fields, and just generally PLAYS like a goddamn baseball player. I think it's awesome. And, for the record, I sleep in a #7 jersey.