Sunday, May 11, 2008

Profile in Courage Award: Arlen Specter

A charismatic leader, visionary, and role model to the children of the United States, this award is given to Republican Senator Arlen Specter. Free from corruption or kick backs, Specter has been a trailblazer in cleaning up the NFL . While other government officials have wasted their time with such petty bureaucratic issues such as the War in Iraq, skyrocketing gas prices, and unemployment, Specter has set his sights on the biggest enemy and crisis to hit the US since 9/11: Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots.

Armed with a steel resolve and an endless determination Specter has been relentless in bringing down the Patriots, and for good reason. The Patriots were using cameras to record other football teams practices, giving them an unfair advantage over their opponents. Led by ruthless tyrant Bill Belichick the Pats were winning and ruining football, and were a major threat to the very core of our democracy. Who would anyone have the courage to stand up to this despot? Enter our hero Arlen Specter. Specter along with his trusty sidekick the Comcast Cable Company knew that the NFL needed to be harsh on the Patriots the doers of evil and destroyers of freedom. This was not going to be an easy process, oh no, the NFL was going to let the Patriots off easy, if true justice was going to be served it was going to be at the hands Arlen.

The leader of the NFL the villainous but weak Roger Goodell tried to appease Specter by punishing the Patriots, but oh no this was not going to be enough for Arlen. Months went by and Arlen planned a new course of action, but how could he continue the good fight when everyone else was moving on? While many families worried about how they were going to pay their mortgages, or feed their children, Arlen put other issues to side and worked endlessly to punish Belichick and the Pats. Even with cancer eating away at his body, Specter's spirit never waned, and for never quit attitude we give you this award. Specter is ready to continue this fight for years to come, and will not rest until the New England Patriots are completely destroyed. You are everything that is right with the country, and are how change can be implemented by a politician who really understands what the people want. God Bless you Arlen Specter, because of you the United States is a better place.

1 comment:

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I am going to name my first child Arlen.