Thursday, May 15, 2008

New York Jets* (*Caught cheating)

You can be forgiven if you missed this little tidbit in Mike Sando's "Hashmarks" blog, because it's gotten precisely zero point zero zero press coverage so far.

But I didn't miss it.

Let's recap, shall we?

Sen. Arlen Specter said former Patriots video assistant Matt Walsh indicated he saw the Jets taping signals at one point during a Jets-Patriots game, but Walsh did not say anything about it at the time.


Oho!

Well, now, how about this? Looks like we've got us some CHEATERS!!!!! So Mr. Goodell, how much will the Jets' fine be? Will they lose their 2009 first-round draft pick? I mean, you, as a trained attorney, realize that the precedent has been set now, and you'd look like a vindictive, arbitrary martinet if you didn't apply your own rules evenly, correct?

Hey, Mike Greenberg! Clever with the whole "DAY NINETY-TWO" audio clips on Mike & Mike when Walsh wasn't talking about what he knew about the Patriots! We can now expect similar sound bites concerning your favorite team's coach, correct? What does he know about the Jets' cheating? How extensive is the Jets' cheating system? I hope you can pressure the Jets into answering these vital, essential questions!

Hey ESPN! Since this is exactly the same thing the Patriots have been punished for doing, we can expect three months of non-stop coverage from Mike Fish speculating on how extensive the Jets' taping operations were, and how we'll probably never know how many of the Jets victories are directly associate with their cheating, correct? Will the Jets' 2006 playoff appearance be forever tainted by this? I think we need to hear Sal Palantonio and Mark Schlereth weigh in on that topic.

Hey Gregg Easterbrook! Can we now expect every TMQ column to take some sort of shot at the Evil Jets? If the Jets play the Colts this year, we can expect the game to be referred to as the battle of "Evil vs. Murderer", correct? I mean, there's no evidence that Marvin Harrison actually shot anyone, and he's not considered a suspect, and the boy didn't actually die, but what kind of lesson does it send to our children if his arrogant refusal to take the blame for anything more than ownership of the gun is accepted by the league and the sports media, right? Not to mention that the Hess family (who don't actually own the Jets anymore, but that's really irrelevant to the point, right?), as Jews, should be more sensitive to cheating issues, correct?

Hey New York Post! You're gonna put a big asterisk up next to the Jets' record this year, right?

Hey John Tomase! We've got a story for you to follow up on.....

Again, Jetsgate is going to be a huge story, right? If the Patriots' taping was so important, then the Jets' taping MUST ALSO BE EQUALLY important, right?????

Or are you all a bunch of blowhard Belichick-hating hypocrites?

I think we know the answer.

7 comments:

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I want to make out with this post.

/slobbers messily on computer monitor

Comicbook Guy said...

I want to make out with futuremrs.......
Oh look, does someone h ave a camera on the sidelines?

Sean said...

The Jets: cheating their way to the bottom since 1970.

J! E...!

Starting Aces said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Starting Aces said...

Remember that time when gas was $4, but Senate was using their time and resources to look into people cheating at a game?

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

@Aces -- I'm sure the smattering of US troops who died in Iraq last week just want one thing as their legacy: a full and thorough Congressional investigation of the internal rules enforcement of a private corporation.

Starting Aces said...

crying_eagle.gif