Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Mothra is Down!!!! Mothra is Down!!!!!

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON: Mothra, who is a friend to the children of Japan, has been vanquished.

Mothra, or "Mothra" to his friends, was in the process of using his or her mothy powers to thwart an invasion of Mariners when said Mariners took command of the situation. While awkwardly attempting to fly around the Mariners' boat, Mothra clipped a wing and plummeted into the ocean.

There were no survivors.

Mothra's close personal friend Gamera was reportedly too distressed to comment on the vanquishing of his insect friend. He released the following statement through his publicist:

On behalf of the entire Gamera organization, I'd like to send my heartfelt condolences to Mothra's recently-laid clutch of eggs, his/her wife Rocket, and all those tiny people on that tropical island who worship him/her. My sweet friend was 8-0 with a 2.40 ERA before last night's tragic vanquishing, and we will all miss his/her stoic ability to fly and shoot laser beams from his/her eyes.

Walking zombie nightmare Mi-ke Timlin-san surrendered on behalf of the Monster Islanders after 9 days of battle, leaving the Mariners triumphant.

Eyewitness reports of glowing rocks near the corpse of Mothra, and of a giant lizard moving towards the area, are so far unconfirmed.

Emperor Remi, speaking from the Chrysanthemum Adirondack Chair, has declared today to be a national day of mourning and saki-drinking in honor of Mothra.


GHABB,Y~! said...

Pieces of the Chrysanthemum Adirondack Chair can be purchased for the Low, Low price of 39.95 on the Emperor Remi's website.

Starting Aces said...

Last night's game was sorely lacking in the giant lobsters and go-go contests with sailboats as prizes departments.