Thursday, May 22, 2008

It's Great being Matty Ryan!!!!!11!!!

I can not believe it, I just got 35 million dollars, time to go shopping!

Wow guys, I just got a lot of money from the Atlanta Falcons, and the best part is most of it is guaranteed, meaning it will go straight in my pockets. WOOOOOOHOOOOO, sorry for the excitement but I just can't help it! My mother called and said that I should be wise and invest some of it, and by golly I think she brings up a good point, but come on I'm a white, blue collared type of guy I need to go shopping! There are so many things that I never could afford, but I am going to make up for that lost time right now gosh darn it!

My Shopping List by Matty Ryan:

*Ooooh I want a Saab, or a Volvo! A real nice one that is real good on gas mileage, maybe a hybrid I hear those are green and good for the environment and that is something Matty Ice is real concerned about. Nothing too flashy though, I want my car to be different than Joe Horn's and Mikey Jenkins (we are on a nickname basis now, I call him Mikey he calls me Rookie), they have all those big rims and tinted windows, I just want a car that has a CD Deck so I can listen to my new Rascal Flatts album!

*Its about time that I get a wardrobe makeover, no more Super fan shirts and pajama pants for me I am a star now! Woooooo. Maybe I could find a homosexual fashion designer to pick out my wardrobe for me! I know many of my catholic friends at BC will look down at me, but I will look so ROCKING MAN! Argyle shirts, and khaki slacks, with some nice loafers! I plan on racking up huge bills at the Gap, Banana Republic and JCrew. My style will be so rad that the NFL won't know what hit them!

* My friends are going to think I am so cool when I get TWO new XBox's for my pad (that's what I call my apartment). Im going to get that Guitar Hero game too, because I would be totally dope at that!

*I hope that Dave Matthews or Jimmy Buffett is coming down to Atlanta this summer because now I can finally afford tickets to his show! I could bring all my boys with me and we could totally get front row tickets, maybe grab a few beers, with back stage passes of course. I bet the show will be so awesome that I will end up buying a really nice acoustic guitar that I could serenade my teammates with songs all season long!

* Looking the mirror this morning I realized something, I am not as hot as I could be. I think its about that time I take a flight over to California and get Dr. Lichenstein over on Rodeo Drive to see how I could upgrade my face. I'm thinking a little nose job, maybe some collagen, and an overall re-do of this whole bad boy every time Im at the club girls will have to look at me! Now that I'm rich, I will be the IT guy down south, girls like Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears and Carrie Underwood will be begging for my phone number. Hold onto Jessica tight Tony, I'm on the prowl! GRRRRRRRR....(that was my tiger sound) I will be getting tons of ass in no time.

It's great being Matty Ryan!!!!!!111!!!!

Wow, being rich is going to be AWESOME!


A Pimp Named DaveR said...

Also on the list:

-- A Joey Harrington Lions jersey

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Heh. Hehehe.