Wednesday, May 14, 2008

BREAKING NEWS: Clay Buchholz Placed On DL, Is Huge Nancy

The ever-aphoristic Extra Bases blog reports today that spastic righty Clay Buchholz has been placed on the 15-day disabled list with -- wait for it -- a broken fingernail. Awesome. I can only assume said injury was sustained during a particularly aggressive crocheting session, or from petting a kitten too hard.

Seriously, though, when I played lacrosse in high school I used to run into trouble every prom season because I'd always get tips put on and then would have to play games with my trashy fake nails. It hurt like a bitch every time I got stick-checked, and on the few occasions when I broke one of them I'd literally be in tears from the pain. But I sucked it up and played. I'm just sayin'.

No moves to bring up any pitchers from the minor leagues, since Pawtucket outfielder Jonathan van Every was called up to take the spot of an injured JD Drew. Van Every will make the start at CF for today's afternoon game against the Orioles; Jacoby Ellsbury has been moved to Drew's spot at RF. Hopefully he'll still be there when I sit in the bleachers on Sunday so I can ogle cheer for and encourage him.

Update: If you're feeling procrastinate-y, check out the liveglog over at Walkoff Walk! Bring pithy comments and a swimsuit.


Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

I have a multi-faceted response:

1. Who the fuck is Van Avery?

2. I can't believe you brought up your fake nails in an article.

(I'm guessing at the bottom of the Charles due to unpaid gambling debts)

Starting Aces said...

Anyone else feel like this is the "phantom injury" that puts Colon into the rotation?

GHABB,Y~! said...

I didn't know Revere High had a female lacrosse team.

Pepster said...

I had to put up with Beckett's blister when he was with the Marlins, you guys can handle a poor fingernail or two. (Please note - I am not wishing that Beckett's blister fester up again).