Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Boston Sports Tonight!

Red Sox v. Mariners, 10:10 pm. Worth staying up late for this one, as Daisuke Matsuzaka (MOTHRA!!! also 8-0, 2.40) goes for Win #9 against Seattle. A win tonight will tie him with Brandon Webb, the league's current leader in wins but 0-2 over his last 2 starts SPECIFICALLY AND EXCLUSIVELY BECAUSE I JUST TRADED JACOBY ELLSBURY FOR HIM IN MY FANTASY LEAGUE. Ahem. The Angels' Joe Saunders is the only other pitcher with 8 wins on the season, but he's not pitching tonight so sucks for him. Miguel Batista (3-6 with an unbelivably depressing 6.47 ERA) will take the mound for Seattle. Please note that the banner on the Mariners' website currently reads, "Mojo Rising." Um, I beg to differ. Unless by "mojo" they mean "likelihood of finishing the season with the worst record in the league." Seattle's best hope for tonight is Yuniesky Betancourt, who batted .364 with a home run over 11 plate appearances against Dice-K last year.

Frivolous prop bet of the night: Midway through the 3rd inning, Dice-K mutters "let's blow this sake stand" to Ichiro Suzuki from the mound; the two round up Ken Johjima and Hideki Okajima and hit up The Golden Banana and are all found passed out in the middle of Route 1 tomorrow morning. Best. Spring. Break. EVER!

Serious prediction of the night: Number 499 for Manny. He's due.

Disclaimer: I have no idea whether or not the caption of that picture actually says something filthy in Japanese. It kinda seems like it might. If I've inadvertently offended any native Japanese speakers, please accept my apologies in the form of this pair of used schoolgirl panties.


A Pimp Named DaveR said...

I think you're safe.


futuremrsrickankiel said...

Don't you challenge my ignorance.

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

Jesus, opponents have a .410 OBP against Batista. Watch the Sox will struggle to put together anything in this game.