Friday, May 16, 2008

Boston Sports Tonight!

Strap in for tonight, everyone...

Red Sox v. Brewers, 7:05 pm. The first interleague series of the season kicks off at Fenway Park tonight as Jeff Suppan (whose autograph I have YAY) squares off against Daisuke Matsuzaka at Fenway. I'm not going to lie: I love interleague play. I look forward to it every year. This weekend, Prince "Tofu Burger" Fielder and Ryan "Big-Ass New Contract" Braun will compare bat sizes with David "Large Paternal Figure" Ortiz and Dustin "I Was At The Apple Store Next To Futuremrsrickankiel's Apartment Last Night And Didn't Even Say Hi" Pedroia. How exciting! Moreover, Boston fans will finally have the opportunity to give Eric Gagne the rousing cheer he deserves... when he comes in to close in the 9th and thus immediately guarantees us 4 earned runs and at least 72,000 walks. YAY ERIC GAGNE!



Celtics v. Cavaliers, 8:00 pm. [deep breath] This is without a question the biggest game the Celtics have played yet this year. Everyone knows we can win at the Garden. It's time to step it up and end this series tonight. I'm getting a freaking ulcer from this nonsense. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE... more night of this series. PLEASE. END IT NOW. Everyone -- I mean EVERYONE -- put on your Celts gear and channel your positive energy towards Cleveland. Let's go Celts!





In totally personal news, I'm heading to a jam session with a (potential) new band tonight. Cool! Wish me luck. When I'm rich and famous, I'll buy drinks for everyone*!




*only if they're $2 Brubakers at Our House




(Credit for that amazing Prince Fielder photoshop job goes to The Onion)

4 comments:

smurphette said...

I will hold you to that. I hope you get famous before June 20th :)

futuremrsrickankiel said...

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS I HATE THE CELTICS AND ALL PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL

Stitchface said...

Mass Hysteria represent, whut whut?

Fenway was under lockdown tonight.

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

Please don't forget us little people when you become rich and famous. Because it will be easy to forget us due to the copious amounts of drugs and booze you will imbibe.