Monday, May 12, 2008

Boston Sports Tonight!

Red Sox v. Twins, 7:05 pm. Boys, boys. As much as I appreciated the “Meet The Red Sox Bullpen!” event hosted at the Metrodome on Mommy’s Day, I have to be honest: this weekend was a stinker. I’m seriously considering becoming a Marlins fan so I don’t have to watch any more AL crapfests like that. Between the second blown Papelbon save in a row and Lugo’s outrageous 11th error on the season (please note that the Sox as a team only have 21), this series thus far has made me want to gouge my eyes out. The one ray of light, of course, was Jed Lowrie’s first EVAH major league home run on Saturday -- which, of course, I missed, because I was busy watching the Celtics vomit up turnovers and offensive fouls all over the court in Cleveland. I HATE THIS CITY AND ALL ITS PROFESSIONAL SPORTS TEAMS. Clay Buchholz taking the mound against Livan Hernandez tonight doesn’t REALLY seem fair, but here’s hoping we see some decent pitching tonight -- and that I don’t have to be subjected to another headline like, “Offense Wakes up too late vs. Twins.” GUHHH KILL ME. In other news, Joe Mauer!

Celtics v. Cavaliers, 8:00 pm. “Do it better, do it harder.” According to the Celtics’ website, that’s the nugget of wisdom Doc Rivers had to share with his players after Saturday’s abomination of a disgrace of a joke of a defensive showing at Cleveland. Well, Doc, unless you’re auditioning to be an extra in a Kanye West video, I’d say you’re going to have to be a little clearer than that if you want to fix the many, many things that went wrong on Saturday. That game was lost within the first 5 minutes and everyone -- most notably the Celtics -- just seemed to accept that. Hey, Doc, here’s a stat for you: Thus far in the postseason, the C’s have managed to average 95.7 PPG at home and 92.3 away… a slight difference, sure, but that’s nothing compared to the absolutely outrageous fact that we’ve been allowing our opponents to score only 75.5 PPG at the Garden while letting up an average of 102.5 POINTS PER GAME ON THE ROAD HOLY GOD. The Cavs owned everything in Game 3: the paint, the arc, even that little spot of sweat gathering on the back of Kevin Garnett’s head. Delonte West had an absolutely inspired game, and His Royal Jamesiness managed to completely fuck everything up for us without even scoring that many points. INEXCUSABLE. Defense is our game, dammit. Let’s bring our game and show these Cleveland clowns who the best team in the East is.

Frivolous prop bet of the night: Paul Pierce becomes the first ever NBA player to simultaneously be called for both an offensive and a defensive foul. Cleveland is accordingly awarded 8 free throws; Ben Wallace takes and misses all of them.

Serious prediction: I think Buchholz steps it up against the crafty veteran Hernandez and goes 5 innings of 2-hit baseball. Sox win, 4-2.

1 comment:

futuremrsrickankiel said...

And, as it turns out, my frivolous prop bet was much closer to being true than my serious predictions. I HATE ALL BOSTON SPORTS TEAMS