Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Celtics Win, Avoid Pubic Symphysitis

Last night's 107-104 Celtics win over the Bucks was ugly, relatively superstar-free, and gave a glimpse as to what the next week of Celtics games might look like. None of the starters played more than 22 minutes, the reserves let a bad team get back in the game, and, in the end, the C's pulled out an uninspiring win.

However, one thing stuck out to me when examining this morning's box score from the game:

Mo Williams, PG DNP PUBIC SYMPHYSITIS.

I'm going to write that again. Pubic Symphysitis. Symphisitis of the Pubic region.

Not being a doctor, I clearly had no idea what pubic symphysitis is. So I went to the one source for all medical wisdom: Wikpiedia. And after giving me a bunch of medical jargon that made this sound like an ailment only suffered by pregnant women, I came across this gem:

"In males, the suspensory ligament of the penis attaches to the pubic symphysis"

...so, from what I gather, Mo Williams missed last night's game with a sprained dick ligament. And because "a sprained dick ligament" isn't exactly the type of injury that's often conjured so late in the season, one has to assume that Williams legitimately was, at some point recently, placing his penis under such pressure and activity that it actually injured the ligament.

Kudos Mo Williams. Ku-Fucking-Dos. Hope your penis gets better.

1 comment:

Sh!tShow said...

Hey, it's a valid injury! How the hell is he supposed to score with that?